Posted by Ima on August 31, 2003, at 20:33:04
In reply to Re: family denial, posted by fluffy on August 31, 2003, at 17:46:53
> How has your family coped with you "coming out of the closet" so to speak?
> > Katia
>
> Well, they haven't been completely in denial--but they never ask how I'm feeling (mentally). My mom is super pragmatic about it--she just thinks--hey--just take a pill, and it will go away (which is somewhat true, albeit much more complicated). She does not dare to address the family tree thing b/c of my dad. He's been terribly abusive to her, too. When I asked my dad about our family tree in despiration (and fear) and told him what was going on with me and my new BP diagnosis--he just started sobbing and crying. He said he feels the same way as me most of the time. I do feel for him. But for jesus sake!! He beat on my brother and I (and yelled horrible things at us) throughout my whole childhood--even into college! He would NEVER NEVER see a psychiatrist! He's probably frozen in fear due to his mom being committed (and never cured of her illness). In that sense, I can't blame him for being scared out of his wits.
>
> Ima--if you're reading this--I hope you didn't infer that I was comparing you to my dad--I was comparing MYSELF to my dad. If I had kids, I'm seriously afraid of how I might have treated them--I have a horrible, agitated temper. I've ALWAYS been afraid of having kids b/c I've thought I might be abusive. It sounds as though you keep yourself pretty composed, even though you are hurting inside. It's really difficult to do.
>
> Anyway--again I've become long winded. I can't help it. This is such a good group!! You guys are my support group!!!
>
> Thank you so much everyone!!
> Katy
How old are you Katy (if you dont mind my asking)
I was 31 When I had my first so I had some of my stuff sorted out.
I was married three yrs. bfore my first preg. Thank God she didnt come then. We had a lot of junk to sort and not kill each other over. Things were better by the time I finally got preg.It hasnt always been rosie. Im a firm believer in the value of an apology. Something I never got from my parents, ever.
Yelling, I cant help sometimes,
but saying I was wrong I can.
I think they understand.
Its not a cake walk,
but I think they feel loved.
THAT's THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!!!
Dont give up the idea
because you may not be a perfect parent.
There arent any.Thanks for sharing. Its hard to be transparent about painful family stuff.
peace
ImaPS..Craft hour definately rules !.. Winston Churchill took up watercolor and layed three hundred bricks a day to keep the "black dog" at bay. (he also drank three bottles of liquor a day, but hey? ;)
poster:Ima
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030828/msgs/255991.html