Posted by Sioux on December 13, 2002, at 18:03:21
In reply to I hate Christmas - how do you cope?, posted by sly on December 13, 2002, at 13:37:55
>>> I don't think I'm drifting back into a full-blown depression, but the holidays aren't easy for me
May I speak here as a Chaplain? There are *many* people for whom the holidays are dreadful for a variety of reasons. Some of the coping strategies that folks I know are using are wonderful.
One couple made it a game to absolutely avoid hearing a single Christmas song or seeing a single relative. They found that the time together without the radio, TV, shopping, or button-pushing family to be really something extraordinary. They've now been married 32 years and continue to keep the tradition, spending their time catching up on projects. They send valentines out each year instead of Christmas cards.
Another good one is to seek out a non-celebrating community if you are near immigrants from Asia, especially. As a street child, I found refuge among the Chinese of our community. The New Year dragon is still one of my most moving symbols.
Don't hesitate to be "weird." People who love you will be glad you are inventing new ways to take care of yourself. The others are not worth pleasing, anyway. Everybody will get used to it. In fact, you may very well help lots of others in the same boat.
The main thing is, it's your life to live as you choose. Investigate the choices.
>>> "hurry up, if you wait much longer your looks will go and no one will want you".
*That* is so destructive and so completely not true. Anyone that goes for the looks isn't worth having, anyway. The truth is most guys don't even notice. My husband still buys me size 10 jeans. He carries a wedding picture with him and sincerely believes I haven't changed a bit.
>>> Unfortunately going away isn't an option, I'm forced to go home
Oh, I do hope you'll examine this! Unless we're talking gunpoint and handcuffs, you probably have more choices than you believe you do. Look into them or call the cops to arrest your kidnappers. It really is okay to disobey your family. If they love you they'll be okay with it. If they don't, you need to know that.
Keep me posted. You are not at all alone and, in fact, there are folks out there hoping you'll speak up so *they* won't feel alone.
-- S
poster:Sioux
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021210/msgs/131706.html