Posted by Shanti on March 19, 2002, at 19:58:53
In reply to Re: How do you deal with the loss of friends???, posted by Angel Girl on March 19, 2002, at 18:28:45
good to hear from you angel girl, you can do it.
i'm experiencing some DP right now all those mixed up feelings i get and don't know how to control i also feel sick too.
instead of letting it get a hold of me this time though i think i'm going to dance with it so to speak, (be my partner by me still feeling it somewhat but not to the state i usually get to) instead i am going to keep posting so i can help myself feel better by being able to look at what i'm experiencing on paper so i can understand myself better.
when we talk about friends......i asked my husband for support ; i told him i was beginning to enter my "ugliness" and instead of getting support i felt i got shit on instead. he actually accused me of not being who i presented my self to be when we first met and that as each month passes it just gets worst - straight from the horses' mouth. this hurt me a lot especially while in my place right now.
to me, i look at it as getting better and you must go down to come up and to go even higher so when he says comments like this it hurts like hell. but guess what i am not going anywhere but up and i hope he will stay and assist me along the way if not sadly to say his loss.
as he reacts this way to me i wonder what prompts him to be like this - fear, jealousy (in a brain zappy sort of way - because i am getting better and maybe i won't need him ?, anger, etc.
well, i can only fix my life and posting this right now has just done that for me!
peace
shanti
ps dear friends please say a prayer for me while i try to deal with my DP right now
poster:Shanti
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020318/msgs/98888.html