Posted by shar on July 4, 2000, at 15:01:50
In reply to Re: Cutting episodes-All, posted by Greg on July 4, 2000, at 11:20:24
Greg,
I had always heard that cutting and eating disorders shared one constant: they were often about one's need to feel in control of Something in one's life.
If I read Tina's post correctly, she was making that connection as well.
Earlier in my life I would damage myself (I'm amazed at how much shame I feel when I say that!) and it always had a "They can't do that to me" feel about it. It was definitely rage related, as anger expressed in any form was forbidden in my household.
I think sometimes a lack of respecting boundaries can bring on feelings that lead to hurting oneself. IE, you feel so much under the microscope, and are so watched, and so criticized, there is at least one thing you can do that is your very own; your own voice in your own head thinking it, and your own hand doing it.
For your friend, therapy is probably the best route. If it were my friend, and therapy was out, I would want to point out every time I saw them make a decision on their own and every time they exerted their own will and every time they either acknowledged the existence of a boundary or enforced a boundary (can't tell her what to do). I would want her to see all the times she was in control in the little decisions she made, and that -- all together -- showed how much control she had.
I would not tell her what to do because that's what she MAY have been living with.
Oh, well. Who knows? For me, things were so convoluted for years that it took a lot of therapy and more recently meds to get to a better place.
Best of luck to you. Your friend is lucky to be so cared for.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:39211
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000630/msgs/39352.html