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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by michellemybell on November 4, 2005, at 6:20:49
First of all, hello to everybody.
I noticed that no one has posted recently-maybe because its midterm times (mine are over thank goodness).
I am a first year grad student in an msw social work program. My B.A is in psych and I think I would like a psych doctoral program much better, but I was too afraid to because I knew I'd have to defend my dissertation one day! I think grad school is so-so as far as socially. I dont think I see things the same way they do. I dont usually feel this way, but I dont think they are that bright either--its just sad. sad, that is a feeling i know too well. I got an A on my first midterm, but the second one, i was so depressed, that i didnt even do it the morning it was due, let alone during the 2 weeks i had to do it. I know procrastination is so common, but i really feel its depression, because when i am not depressed i manage to pull out a great paper even if its the night before. Of the few friends I have (im liked but shy) they dont seem to understand what its like to be depressed, or they tell me that there is no reason for me to be depressed and that i should just get with it. I really resent them for that, but i know its hard to know what depression is like when you dont have it, alot of people think those who are depressed are just lazy or something and its an excuse. It pisses me off that people think I'd spend most of the day in bed crying or just numb simply because im lazy?! Does anyone else experiences any of this--with school or friends? Or is it just me? I dont know why, but I always say grad students as people who get everything done always--like midterms for that matter. Luckily my professor gave me an extension because he says he can tell im a good student and am not making excuses..nice guy! So I still dont know why im so depressed though, didnt sleep at all tonight..so, so lonely. Anyway, if anyone out there came across this and got through this post and can relate or anything I'd like to hear :)
Posted by michellemybell on November 4, 2005, at 6:23:35
In reply to Confused and Depressed Graduate Student, posted by michellemybell on November 4, 2005, at 6:20:49
Oops, id just like to say that i was reading the thread from the top so i thought no one has been posting but i guess they are-im glad.
> First of all, hello to everybody.
>
> I noticed that no one has posted recently-maybe because its midterm times (mine are over thank goodness).
>
> I am a first year grad student in an msw social work program. My B.A is in psych and I think I would like a psych doctoral program much better, but I was too afraid to because I knew I'd have to defend my dissertation one day! I think grad school is so-so as far as socially. I dont think I see things the same way they do. I dont usually feel this way, but I dont think they are that bright either--its just sad. sad, that is a feeling i know too well. I got an A on my first midterm, but the second one, i was so depressed, that i didnt even do it the morning it was due, let alone during the 2 weeks i had to do it. I know procrastination is so common, but i really feel its depression, because when i am not depressed i manage to pull out a great paper even if its the night before. Of the few friends I have (im liked but shy) they dont seem to understand what its like to be depressed, or they tell me that there is no reason for me to be depressed and that i should just get with it. I really resent them for that, but i know its hard to know what depression is like when you dont have it, alot of people think those who are depressed are just lazy or something and its an excuse. It pisses me off that people think I'd spend most of the day in bed crying or just numb simply because im lazy?! Does anyone else experiences any of this--with school or friends? Or is it just me? I dont know why, but I always say grad students as people who get everything done always--like midterms for that matter. Luckily my professor gave me an extension because he says he can tell im a good student and am not making excuses..nice guy! So I still dont know why im so depressed though, didnt sleep at all tonight..so, so lonely. Anyway, if anyone out there came across this and got through this post and can relate or anything I'd like to hear :)
Posted by rainbowbrite on November 4, 2005, at 7:56:00
In reply to Re: Confused and Depressed Graduate Student, posted by michellemybell on November 4, 2005, at 6:23:35
Hi I think remember you...
I ran out of time to write your reply, but when I get home I will be back :-)
Posted by rainbowbrite on November 4, 2005, at 8:32:38
In reply to Confused and Depressed Graduate Student, posted by michellemybell on November 4, 2005, at 6:20:49
> First of all, hello to everybody.
>
> I noticed that no one has posted recently-maybe because its midterm times (mine are over thank goodness).
>I ended up not leaving :-)
well i posted a lot last week ;-D
> I am a first year grad student in an msw social work program. My B.A is in psych and I think I would like a psych doctoral program much better, but I was too afraid to because I knew I'd have to defend my dissertation one day! I think grad school is so-so as far as socially. I dont think I see things the same way they do. I dont usually feel this way, but I dont think they are that bright either--its just sad. sad, that is a feeling i know too well.
>I got an A on my first midterm, but the second one, i was so depressed, that i didnt even do it the morning it was due, let alone during the 2 weeks i had to do it. I know procrastination is so common, but i really feel its depression, because when i am not depressed i manage to pull out a great paper even if its the night before.
greta job on the A either way! It you think its depression you might want to talk to your pdoc about meds?> Of the few friends I have (im liked but shy) they dont seem to understand what its like to be depressed, or they tell me that there is no reason for me to be depressed and that i should just get with it.
Yeah, when i was really depressed I had a few people resond like that, its so kind of them...they really helped lift my spirits at the time *sigh*
>I really resent them for that, but i know its hard to know what depression is like when you dont have it, alot of people think those who are depressed are just lazy or something and its an excuse. It pisses me off that people think I'd spend most of the day in bed crying or just numb simply because im lazy?! Does anyone else experiences any of this--with school or friends?
a little, I havent really been that depressed in a long time but my ADHD brings remarks that are extremely hurtful. I heard some people in class talkign a few days ago about Lds, they said, "Dont you love how they have sugar-coated stupid" I shouldnt be so sensitive but, wow that was like they stabbed me in the chest. I gave them a dirty look. I know one felt bad but whatever he should!! I keep a lot of stuff to myself. In fact I keep most of this stuff to myself. A few friends know and I find their responses are not necessarily well educated and sometimes tehy say outlandish things. I just try to tell myself that they dont have the capacity to undersand what it is like. Until someone in their immediate family or themselves experience it they will never be able to have a full understanding of it. But lazy I get becasue of ADHD, lazy and slacker. there was this one person who i remember giveing me a hard time when I was depressed adn tehn they themselves years later went through a mild depression and apoligized to me!! Im sorry you are going through this. Try not to let people get to you. Could you keep it to yourself when you get depressed? Tell them you have the flu?
>Or is it just me? I dont know why, but I always say grad students as people who get everything done always--like midterms for that matter. Luckily my professor gave me an extension because he says he can tell im a good student and am not making excuses..nice guy! So I still dont know why im so depressed though, didnt sleep at all tonight..so, so lonely. Anyway, if anyone out there came across this and got through this post and can relate or anything I'd like to hear :)
You may be depressed. your prof sounds understnading, they may be suprisingly understanding in the future as well if you need.
I always thought the same as you about grad students but I think its is a myth lol if you read more on this board. it happens to everyone. Im not a grad student though.
Now dont beat yourself up over missing a midterm, K?
If I went around beating myself up for everything I missed...Id be in hospital with serious injuries lol
Posted by Gee on November 4, 2005, at 10:54:20
In reply to Re: Confused and Depressed Graduate Student, posted by rainbowbrite on November 4, 2005, at 8:32:38
Keep trying. I find it hard to do almost everything when I'm depressed but if you keep pushing through it ends up better in the long run. I don't know your history, but is there a T on campus you could talk to? You sound like you do pretty well in class when everything is going okay.
I've found that a lot more people are understanding of Depression than I thought. And if they don't understand it, they will someday.
Good luck. Don't beat yourself up over one missed midterm. In the long run, it's not worth it.
Posted by Maynerd on November 4, 2005, at 13:20:07
In reply to Confused and Depressed Graduate Student, posted by michellemybell on November 4, 2005, at 6:20:49
I understand all to well, having to deal with almost the same thing. The only difference is that I am finishing my BA right now, before starting grad school next fall. When I am 'normal' or moderately hypomanic I can get A's without much effort (which really annoys my few friends). When I am depressed I can barely read let alone retrieve the information I have already studied, which makes the depression all the worse. I found myself putting of many of my studies until I was in a favorable mood, all the while trying to bs my way through school. early on this was easy, but as you know classes eventually get hard enough that trickery won't get you an A anymore. Luckily enough for me my University has a counseling center that is free for students which I finally went to for help. While the meds that they finally convinced to take have helped me tremendously, it was the professors themselves that made me feel that I should continue on through grad school rather than dropping out after my BA. Perhaps it was because they are all psych professors, but every one of them was supportive and understanding. They each treated me as a valued person who was struggling to take control of a disorder, and each was willing to meet me halfway by working with me if I needed it. Although I've rarely needed it, they have allowed me to take tests or turn in papers late (or early as in on instance) when my depression was messing with me. Friends are another story, unfortunately. Regular people without a background in psych or empathy tend to not understand things which they have no experience with; which often times translates into very hurtful actions and words from them.
Bottom line, you may be physically alone but you are not spiritually alone. I understand. My prayers that you find your inner peace soon, my thoughts and love for you so that you know that you are never truly alone.
Posted by michellemybell on November 6, 2005, at 1:36:00
In reply to Confused and Depressed Graduate Student, posted by michellemybell on November 4, 2005, at 6:20:49
Hey everyone,
Thanks for responding to me, it was really helpful to know that others care and/or can relate. I started to see a therapist at my unversity, hes so much better than the ones i had in the past, hes intelligent, understanding, calm, insightfull..and psychodynamic which is probably great for me. Also, After my funk, I thought about the things you guys said and decided to stop beating my self up, and reached out to people instead of hoping everyone will approach me somehow in my room-lol..so it worked im feeling better for now at least!
To Rainbowbrite: I got mad my self when you mentioned that sugar coated comment someone mentioned..thats so rude-especially if they are in a class learning about Ld's and all. Besides..kids i worked with, and adults i know who have add or adhd are reallly bright..and usually are able to see things in ways most cant! Stigma sucks that way though...sigh. its cool that that other person apologized to you later though, i guess it has alot to do with a lack of understanding..though someone people are just always jerks for some sad reason. Lately i speak up more about whats going on with me to people i know well, and advocate for those with mental illness..any type..and i find that even though most people are nervous about it at first, once i give them the facts and tell them how hard it is to have a mental illness and then to have to deal with stigma too...they turn to be very interested and understandding. i started to volunteer at a mental health assoaciation too-..and i got some people who used to call people with mental illness "whack jobs" to read a book on stigma and mental illness and now he wants to volunteer too.It's nice :) I just got meds too-good suggestion.
And Gee: So i guess what you said about people understanding is true..especially since mental illness lately is coming out in the open and there are even good comercials about it! And thanks for suggesting i talk to a T on campus cuz he seems great ;)
Maynerd: thanks for saying im not spirtually alone..that really hit me..it was nice! Im glad ur counseling center at ur school is helpful...mine sucked..they were very very behavorial and sort of mean in a way--i actually wrote a an article about them in the school paper which was great revenge lol--they really hurt me. I think its cool that you can tell your professors about ur depression..ive always thought they would be like "i dont care" or would be scared even though they they were psych professors. But my grad professors seem different..maybe the staff at my undergrad just sucked like that? lol. Im glad you developed a good support system to help through those tough times..i think im on my way to doing the same..thats probably the most important thing in really getting better.
Thanks again everyone! :)
Posted by rainbowbrite on November 6, 2005, at 17:18:18
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone!, posted by michellemybell on November 6, 2005, at 1:36:00
>To Rainbowbrite: I got mad my self when you mentioned that sugar coated comment someone mentioned..thats so rude-especially if they are in a class learning about Ld's and all. Besides..kids i worked with, and adults i know who have add or adhd are reallly bright..and usually are able to see things in ways most cant!
Yeah, I definately think differently lol It was really cruel what the guys said.
>Stigma sucks that way though...sigh. its cool that that other person apologized to you later though,
oh, no apology was given just a look of im sorry. good enough I guess.
>i guess it has alot to do with a lack of understanding..though someone people are just always jerks for some sad reason.
Yeah, I think it is a lot to do with lack of understanding.>Lately i speak up more about whats going on with me to people i know well, and advocate for those with mental illness..any type..and i find that even though most people are nervous about it at first, once i give them the facts and tell them how hard it is to have a mental illness and then to have to deal with stigma too...they turn to be very interested and understandding. i started to volunteer at a mental health assoaciation too-..and i got some people who used to call people with mental illness "whack jobs" to read a book on stigma and mental illness and now he wants to volunteer too.It's nice :) I just got meds too-good suggestion
thats great, I stick up for people all the time too, well not people but when people mock the diffenret mental illness labels I defend and try to educate and clear up the distorted veiws but I dont use myself as an exapmle, too affected by stigma I guess. I do see people slowly changing their views which is nice.
Posted by Maynerd on November 7, 2005, at 20:37:17
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone!, posted by michellemybell on November 6, 2005, at 1:36:00
Spirit can be a powerful thing, and nothing can beat the strength of a good support system. Love and prayers to you.
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