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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shame on April 27, 2006, at 13:26:38
Tranquility. Or rather tranquilizers. Lots of them. It's performance review day and once again it has been proven that excellence is worthless, hard work is never rewarded, and no one has ever gotten ahead by being diligent."One of the best engineers in the company."
"We are extremely lucky to have you on our team."
"No technical weaknesses."
"Driven."The punch line?
"Meets expectations."
I do not meet expectations. I am a mentor; holder of the deep computer magic others aspire for. I am the ruler by which others are measured. I am the beating heart of a company that has grown too bloated and jaded to care about the needs of its employees.
I am told they expect more out of me than others, and that the girl I am mentoring received an 'outstanding' because my guidance allowed her to excel. Being the best leaves very little room to impress those who already expect the world.
So, laying in the soft folds of my Xanax, I feel calm at last. Anxiety and rage replaced with the muzzy acceptance that I will no longer strive to be the best. No longer the correct mistakes others have made in haste or ignorance. I am no longer the safety net that keeps them safe. I am like the others now. Average, unhurried, unstressed, and indifferent to the consequences that mistakes may bring. Consequences that effect the lives of others.
My life for yours. 10 to 20% mortality rate for me and my fellow bipolars? I won't push myself towards that any more.
Sorry.
Posted by Poet on April 27, 2006, at 16:26:18
In reply to The Cost of Quality., posted by Shame on April 27, 2006, at 13:26:38
Hi Shame,
You have my sympathy. I hate performance reviews. I took Clonazepam before my last one. Not that it really mattered if I met or exceeded expectations because everyone in the department got a whopping one percent pay increase no matter how much extra effort was put in.
It's like no matter how hard you work, it doesn't matter. Being average is okay. Just get by with the minimum because it won't matter. Sorry I am very bitter these days about my career failure. I will stop my rant.
Sorry about how you're feeling.
Poet
Posted by Phillipa on April 27, 2006, at 20:27:59
In reply to Re: The Cost of Quality. » Shame, posted by Poet on April 27, 2006, at 16:26:18
Maybe I don't want to work for anyone but myself keep buying small houses fixing them up and selling at a profit. Love Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2006, at 0:57:17
In reply to The Cost of Quality., posted by Shame on April 27, 2006, at 13:26:38
Any review I mercifully haven't gotten lately wouldn't have "met expectations", but I do know what you mean. I know people who work themselves up to a level where expectations are so high that they just meet them, rather than exceed them as they've done all their lives up to that point. And it's a devastating blow to just "meet expectations".
But I think it might be exactly that. You might be at a level where expectations are extraordinarily high and meeting them at your level still makes you far more valuable to the company than people who exceed lower expectations. They really ought to come up with new terminology for those reviews. Like "meets increasingly high expectations in a praiseworthy manner".
Companies need to work harder at giving excellent feedback to their most valuable workers.
But you do know that the people around you respect your knowledge and dedication and while they might expect the best from those few that reach your position, they also know that not many people could meet those expectations.
Posted by Glydin on April 28, 2006, at 8:45:13
In reply to Re: The Cost of Quality. » Shame, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2006, at 0:57:17
The frustration of merit based for pay level increases reviews... I know it very well from both sides.
Most companies have quotas and limit the number of "exceeds" if it is a merit based pay increase system involved. Basically having to "shaft" some really high preformers. I have always thought it unfair, discouraging, and just plain WRONG.
I'm sorry that happened to you, it sounds like you are a wonderful asset.
Posted by Shame on May 1, 2006, at 13:12:19
In reply to Re: The Cost of Quality. » Shame, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2006, at 0:57:17
It all hit the fan last Friday. They had to make a choice... Say goodbye to me or 're-evaluate' my review. Say goodbye or move me to a new project that isn't under poor leadership. I won't be judged against myself in attempt to motivate me.I am now on a different project, and "Meets expectations" no longer appears on my review.
They made a good choice.
Posted by bimini on May 2, 2006, at 15:10:56
In reply to Re: The Cost of Quality., posted by Shame on May 1, 2006, at 13:12:19
Allright! Good for you, I wish more people would stand up to point out the fact that "you get what you pay for".
I was severely underpayed at one job. The eventual raise I got sucessfully motivated me to cut productivity in about half. Way to go captain, I'll help you sink this ship ahoi.
bimini
Posted by alesta on May 8, 2006, at 11:19:44
In reply to The Cost of Quality., posted by Shame on April 27, 2006, at 13:26:38
>
> Tranquility. Or rather tranquilizers. Lots of them. It's performance review day and once again it has been proven that excellence is worthless, hard work is never rewarded, and no one has ever gotten ahead by being diligent.
>
> "One of the best engineers in the company."
> "We are extremely lucky to have you on our team."
> "No technical weaknesses."
> "Driven."
>
> The punch line?
>
> "Meets expectations."
>
> I do not meet expectations. I am a mentor; holder of the deep computer magic others aspire for. I am the ruler by which others are measured. I am the beating heart of a company that has grown too bloated and jaded to care about the needs of its employees.
>
> I am told they expect more out of me than others, and that the girl I am mentoring received an 'outstanding' because my guidance allowed her to excel. Being the best leaves very little room to impress those who already expect the world.
>
> So, laying in the soft folds of my Xanax, I feel calm at last. Anxiety and rage replaced with the muzzy acceptance that I will no longer strive to be the best. No longer the correct mistakes others have made in haste or ignorance. I am no longer the safety net that keeps them safe. I am like the others now. Average, unhurried, unstressed, and indifferent to the consequences that mistakes may bring. Consequences that effect the lives of others.
>
> My life for yours. 10 to 20% mortality rate for me and my fellow bipolars? I won't push myself towards that any more.
>
> Sorry.
>hello, shame,:)
i wanted to reply to this thread previously, but wasn't sure of exactly what i wanted to say..i'm still not...i can relate to what you wrote...about setting a high standard...and ppl always expecting that from you. speaking for myself, it kind of makes me want to rebel against what they want...i don't know why.:) anyway, thank you for your post. i am having a very painful, rough time lately...just wanted you to know that someone understands.take good care,
amy
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