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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on July 10, 2004, at 15:25:46
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20040420/msgs/364681.html
could posters who can't post there give advice here, if they have it? pretty please with sugar (and cherries and mangoes and peaches) on top???
not trying to double post, but looks like someone needs help and i'm at a loss :(
sorry mr bob.. spank me if you must :(
Posted by partlycloudy on July 10, 2004, at 17:01:27
In reply to sorry to do this but........, posted by karen_kay on July 10, 2004, at 15:25:46
KK, I posted to him on the Newbie board and I'm looking for the Florida resources right now. Thanks for cross-posting, I think that was the right thing to do.
pc
Posted by Racer on July 10, 2004, at 17:21:25
In reply to Re: sorry to do this but........ » karen_kay, posted by partlycloudy on July 10, 2004, at 17:01:27
First of all, unless you're an immediate threat to yourself or others, most jurisdictions will not consider hospitalizing you. Period. There are very, very strict guidelines about when involuntary hospitalization is permitted, and if you don't wanna be hospitalized, you don't gotta be hospitalized -- unless you tell them that you're thinking of ending a life. Going to a clinic is safe, in that regard, although it probably won't feel safe for you at first: yes, they will ask if you've thought about ending your life, and yes, you really do have to be honest with them about it. Here's the distinction, though: that's not the last question they will ask you. Depending on where you are, they may not let you leave until they finish asking you all of their questions, but once they do finish asking you for the full picture, it's very, very unlikely they will try to keep you any longer. Unless, of course, you're so charming and such good company they just can't stand to let you leave, which is probably pretty much as likely as me winning the lottery -- and I don't buy tickets.
The reason I'd encourage you to hie thyself to a clinic ASAP is that there are so many, many treatments available that can help you. You sound as if you're really, really suffering -- and there is no reason to continue suffering so much when there is help available to you. The symptoms you're describing -- and I can't offer a guess at a diagnosis -- are certainly interfering with your job, as well as you life, and if they're not addressed you're risking a real nightmare! (Trust me on this one -- been there, done that, don't got the t-shirt onaccounta they were charging too much.) Addressing the problem now, before it grows out of control, really is the best thing you can do for yourself -- even if you don't think you deserve it.
Don't let fear keep you from getting help. There is so much that can be done to help you, and it really and truly and cross my heart does help.
I'm so sorry you're in this pain. I hope it gets better soon.
Best luck.
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 7:39:12
In reply to For cakins, posted by Racer on July 10, 2004, at 17:21:25
Thank you, for your words and encouragement. I cannot go to a clinic; they will not let me leave. I was picked up over one year ago, it almost killed me then, I was released under my own but kept for observation, it is one of the most horrific experiences of your life, I cannot even bear to think about what I saw what happened, the things I heard, I do not belong there, I want to LIVE!
Posted by Racer on July 11, 2004, at 14:02:42
In reply to Re: For cakins, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 7:39:12
I'm glad you found your way here, and I hate to make it sound as if I'm not listening to you by asking questions about what you're saying -- but I'm gonna ask some questions, anyway. It's not that I'm not listening to you, by the way, it's just that I know from my own experience that I don't always see the full range of possibilities -- no matter how limited those possibilities are at the time -- when I'm in the deepest depths of depression. And at those times, I'll give a million versions of the same reasons for why I'm right and everyone else is wrong about what those options might be. So, don't take it as me not listening to you -- please don't, I really am trying to understand what you're telling us, and I have some other questions that I think would make it easier for me to understand what you're saying.
Anyway, here are my questions:
You say you were picked up a year ago and taken to a clinic, where they wouldn't let you go? Can you tell me a little about that situation? Just general -- who picked you up? Why did they want to keep you -- were you suicidal, threatening, just too apathetic to answer questions? Just a general sort of overview of that situation.
Did you receive any treatment back then? Did it help at all?
Do you have any health insurance? Access to any medical care? Access to any non-profits in your area? Church? (I'm *not* advocating any organized religion by asking that. Some churches have programs that can help match people with the help they need -- even if you're not a member of the church. During one of my worst periods, a Catholic priest found me a medication program and bullied them into accepting me. I'm *not* Catholic, and I'm *not* a big fan of organized religion. But that priest literally saved my life.) Social support network -- family, friends, anyone?
If I seem to be pushing and prodding you, it's because the depths of your distress are resonating so strongly in me. I've experienced the absolute nightmare of being in desperate need of help with no way to get it. (Hell, I'd be there now myself, if some of the people on this board hadn't been going out of their way to support me through this period.) I'm wishing very, very hard that there was some way to help you, and trying to learn enough about your specific situation to see if there is anything practical that I can suggest.
Sorry, cakins, I'm just not very good at the warm fuzzies. I wish I could just say something like, "gee, I'm sorry you feel so bad" and be done with it. I am sorry you feel so bad, but I also want to know if there's something that can be done to help you feel better. I hope you can feel the caring that prompts my questions, rather than feeling pressured by them.
Best, best wishes to you.
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 14:22:01
In reply to Re: For cakins, posted by Racer on July 11, 2004, at 14:02:42
I take no offince, I am used to much worse, even my boss uses foul language at me, it has become secondary to me in life, that I know is a bad thing, but I have never found a place to work that was really a good envornment. To your questions, my ex wife had me picked up, I was upset that night yes, she talked to a "friend" of mine who I confied in that I was thinking about "doing something" never said what, the police arrested me and took me to a "non clinc" as they later put in the report. I was kept on a baker act. I was released on my own with no medication or follow up visits or anything. Yes I have medical insurance, I too do not like nor support religion, I often feel bad enough and do not need to be told I am a sinner, or have someone pass judgement on me which is often the case. I have family, they are not easy to speak to, they would rather I help them or hear about their problems instead of listing, friends, mabey, hard to tell at times, I know they care or I tell myself they do, I know they would listen if I called, but nothing would change, I have tried it before and their was nothing there for me. I do not have anyone, I am alone other than my work and that is causing me more problems than I can hope to deal with. I thank you for your help, I am not afriad to ask for it, but I do not know where to go. I cannot go back to where I was, it was beyond hell, I still have nightmares about it now, I do not want to have to be afriad to ask for help.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 14:26:59
In reply to Re: For cakins, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 14:22:01
I'm just jumping in from the Newbie board. Hello, it's me.
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 15:20:07
In reply to Re: For cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 14:26:59
Hello, and Thank You Again!
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 15:29:04
In reply to Re: For cakins, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 15:20:07
It is so lovely to accepted as we are. No artifice, no sucking in of gut, no flash-frozen smile that makes your teeth stick to your lips. Ever try to smile when your teeth are stuck to the inside of your mouth? Someone told me once to smear vaseline over my teeth, and it justed grossed me out so bad. So I stopped smiling.
It's a whole bunch of people just like us. It's magic.
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 15:35:47
In reply to This is home for now., posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 15:29:04
It is funny you should say that about vasline, because yes I have, dancing, there are a few other tricks to, I have had to spray my partners bottom with hairspray to keep their dance underware from riding up, try that one. I do not like hairspray on my arm. It made me laugh, thank you, I have not smiled for days.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 15:40:36
In reply to Re: This is home for now., posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 15:35:47
I knew there was a reason why I'm addicted to Freeze'n'Shine!
Hey, cakin; I don't know about you, but this has been a fine way for me, of spending a sunday afternoon.
Posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 16:47:50
In reply to Re: This is home for now. » cakins, posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 15:40:36
I tell you what, it is the best Sunday I have had for a long time. Thank You!
Posted by partlycloudy on July 11, 2004, at 17:09:03
In reply to Re: This is home for now., posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 16:47:50
Yup, it's a lot better than being alone.
be well,
pc
Posted by Racer on July 11, 2004, at 18:40:21
In reply to Re: For cakins, posted by cakins on July 11, 2004, at 14:22:01
First of all, you're one up on me, buddy, if you've got medical insurance! Step one is to go to your GP, tell him/her that you're experiencing distress that you think might be related to depression, and ask for a referral to a qualified psychopharmacologist. Guess what? Unless you are clearly a danger to yourself or others, you don't get to be locked up against your will. Instead, you get to answer a slew of questions about your symptoms, your history, your feelings (which you answer as well as you can -- it's not a test with a pass-fail grade at the end of it), and the Good Doctor will either suggest counseling -- which is a very good resource and I recommend -- or medications, or both. The best answer, as far as anything I've ever experienced or heard about or read about is getting both medications and counseling.
Medications can be absolute and literal life savers. Sure, there are trade offs, but the amount of good they do is worth most of the problems that they can cause. Most medications require a fair amount of time to work, but once they kick in it's like a miracle. Truly, like a miracle.
Best luck to you, there really is help out there, and it doesn't have to require a nightmare to get it. The best way to avoid the nightmare, by the way, is to take the first step towards getting help yourself. If you make the choice to get yourself to a doctor for a referral, then you reap many benefits, not least of which is the feeling of power it can give you that *you* made an *active* move towards recovery, rather than remaining passive until someone else did something that forced it on you.
I'm appalled, by the way, that you were released without any sort of treatment or follow up. Not surprised, since I was released from an involuntary hold hours before attempting suicide myself. In fact, the closest to treatment I got on that hold was the lethal dose of pills they gave me which I then used for a less therapeutic purpose that night. That is not typical of treatment for depression or related mood disorders, though. That's typical of a bureaucratic system that tries very hard to give out band aids, since they really aren't equipped to treat the bullet wounds presented. Go to your doctor. It won't be like that. I promise.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 12, 2004, at 3:31:16
In reply to sorry to do this but........, posted by karen_kay on July 10, 2004, at 15:25:46
Wow. It sounds like you have so much on your plate right now, as if you are really overwhelmed. I know that the thought of being hospitalized can sound very scary. Is it possible for you to talk to a therapist or find a crisis intervention center in your area? They are in the phonebook under Crisis Intervention. If you can't find one in the phone book, perhaps you can call any therapist's office and ask for a number to one close to you. I know this is the first time that I've posted to you, but already I feel like you seem so open and honest, which are two excellent and admirable qualities. Your two little children need you. Please see a doctor/psychiatrist/therapist as soon as possible. Perhaps talking things out, or getting the right medication will make a huge difference for you. Please keep me updated on your situation.
Elle
Posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 11:22:50
In reply to Re: To Cakins, posted by Elle2021 on July 12, 2004, at 3:31:16
Yes, going their might be a good idea, but I really want to talk to someone who I can develop a relationship with, a doctor, not a body on the phone or behind a glass window. I am afraid to just call any doctor, I do not have a GP I never have had one, I just now got insurance so I can afford to go to a doctor, I was lucky that it final hit me so hard now, while I have a job and insurance.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 13, 2004, at 1:47:38
In reply to Re: To Cakins, posted by cakins on July 12, 2004, at 11:22:50
So, it sounds like to me, that while you are still a bit afraid of calling a doctor, you are getting closer to making that step, almost like you are feeling ready to do it. I'm really happy that you have insurance right now. I've been without it, and not having it can be very problematic. You mentioned that you want a person who you can develop a relationship with, like a real, in-person doctor. I think that is a very reasonable desire, and one that can definitely be attained. To me, it sounds like a therapist would be ideal for you right now. It takes a lot of courage to notice and admit that we need help. You have already taken that step. I really encourage you to make the phone call to a doctor. Please keep me updated on your situation, okay.
Elle
This is the end of the thread.
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