![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Greg A. on December 15, 2001, at 0:45:28
I have done a bad thing. Okay . . . not in the big scheme of things, but in my little world. In a moment of intoxication, I told a friend that I love her. What I meant, I'm not sure. Someone I only know from writing; but writing innermost thoughts. Someone with whom I shared the way I felt.
I think I meant that I cherished her and valued her. But I crossed a boundary in saying it and made her extremely uncomfortable. All seems lost. I value that friendship. I don't want to let go easily. What to do??Greg
Posted by dreamer on December 15, 2001, at 2:23:24
In reply to Dr. Evil . . . , posted by Greg A. on December 15, 2001, at 0:45:28
> I think I meant that I cherished her and valued her. But I crossed a boundary in saying it and made her extremely uncomfortable. All seems lost. I value that friendship. I don't want to let go easily. What to do??
>
> Greg
Just write what you posted above. Saying you love someone is sweet , a friendship-love. You maybe shocked her but in a drunken high we all do stoopid things (me hypomanic stoopid fool-shock specialist)
If she's a good friend she'll forgive or maybe something wonderful will come of it.
The world would be a better place if we werent so embarrased at xpressing our good feelings , hey.Dr.Eamer astronaut flying high wwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posted by Kristi on December 15, 2001, at 10:09:47
In reply to Dr. Evil . . . , posted by Greg A. on December 15, 2001, at 0:45:28
I agree with Dreamer. Just write us what you posted above. "we" understand that stuff..... good luck
> I have done a bad thing. Okay . . . not in the big scheme of things, but in my little world. In a moment of intoxication, I told a friend that I love her. What I meant, I'm not sure. Someone I only know from writing; but writing innermost thoughts. Someone with whom I shared the way I felt.
> I think I meant that I cherished her and valued her. But I crossed a boundary in saying it and made her extremely uncomfortable. All seems lost. I value that friendship. I don't want to let go easily. What to do??
>
> Greg
Posted by tina on December 15, 2001, at 14:02:33
In reply to Re: Dr. Evil . . . , posted by Kristi on December 15, 2001, at 10:09:47
> she'll understand.
all the best
t>
>
>
> I agree with Dreamer. Just write us what you posted above. "we" understand that stuff..... good luck
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > I have done a bad thing. Okay . . . not in the big scheme of things, but in my little world. In a moment of intoxication, I told a friend that I love her. What I meant, I'm not sure. Someone I only know from writing; but writing innermost thoughts. Someone with whom I shared the way I felt.
> > I think I meant that I cherished her and valued her. But I crossed a boundary in saying it and made her extremely uncomfortable. All seems lost. I value that friendship. I don't want to let go easily. What to do??
> >
> > Greg
Posted by Phil on December 15, 2001, at 15:32:47
In reply to Dr. Evil . . . , posted by Greg A. on December 15, 2001, at 0:45:28
> I have done a bad thing. Okay . . . not in the big scheme of things, but in my little world. In a moment of intoxication, I told a friend that I love her.
> >In the big scheme of things, getting drunk while taking Klonopin(anything else?)would be my biggest concern.
What I meant, I'm not sure. Someone I only know from writing; but writing innermost thoughts. Someone with whom I shared the way I felt.
> I think I meant that I cherished her and valued her. But I crossed a boundary in saying it and made her extremely uncomfortable. All seems lost. I value that friendship. I don't want to let go easily. What to do??
> >Once you have crossed that boundary, by the way, have you met her? Some people don't understand with good reason.
Deep sharing early in a relationship is not a sign of healthy boundaries. It is usually a sign that a train wreck is going to happen down the line. Believe me, I've been in a lot of train wrecks.Sorry to be so blunt.
Posted by Greg A. on December 15, 2001, at 22:09:25
In reply to Re: Dr. Evil . . . this could be easy, posted by Phil on December 15, 2001, at 15:32:47
> > >In the big scheme of things, getting drunk while taking Klonopin(anything else?)would be my biggest concern.Taking lot's of other things Phil. I am indeed, my own worst enemy. But I know myself pretty well so sometimes I put up a good fight.
> > >Once you have crossed that boundary, by the way, have you met her? Some people don't understand with good reason.
> Deep sharing early in a relationship is not a sign of healthy boundaries. It is usually a sign that a train wreck is going to happen down the line. Believe me, I've been in a lot of train wrecks.
>
> Sorry to be so blunt.No I have not met her. I do not intend to meet her. But I would like to keep her as a friend. We have much in common and have already learned from each other. But I have my life and she has hers - and I wish to keep it that way. I just hate that I may have f#*ked up a friendship by saying the wrong thing. That would certainly not be a first for me, but you'd think I'd learn.
No offence taken for the bluntness Phil. None intended in the subject line.
Posted by Phil on December 15, 2001, at 22:49:48
In reply to Phil, you (well intentioned) Phool, posted by Greg A. on December 15, 2001, at 22:09:25
> Taking lot's of other things Phil. I am indeed, my own worst enemy. But I know myself pretty well so sometimes I put up a good fight.
> >It's not like I don't know the terrain you're in. I know it too well.
>
> > > >Once you have crossed that boundary, by the way, have you met her? Some people don't understand with good reason.
> > Deep sharing early in a relationship is not a sign of healthy boundaries. It is usually a sign that a train wreck is going to happen down the line. Believe me, I've been in a lot of train wrecks.
> >
> > Sorry to be so blunt.
>
I just hate that I may have f#*ked up a friendship by saying the wrong thing. That would certainly not be a first for me, but you'd think I'd learn.> >I just did that recently to someone I knew for 8 years. Said the wrong thing. I hate it when that happens. I have wonderful self talk afterwards."You moron! Dumb ass. Stupid f@cker."
>
> No offence taken for the bluntness Phil. None intended in the subject line.I thought the subject line was phine.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.