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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 16, 2014, at 23:46:39
so... i did get a follow up. with the mental health nurse guy.
he was okay... i gave him my whole 'please don't say you understand when you don't comprehend' speel... and... well... i'm not entirely sure he got it... but then, i'm not entirely sure it makes sense to 99.9% of the people out there, so...
when i went to leave... he was all profuse... it was SO nice to meet you, i mean really it was SO WONDERFUL to have met you. over and over...
sycophantic?
slightly creepy?
i remembered that that was how he was after the appointment with the dr and the registrar, too. it creeped me out a little then.
i mean... he can't possibly be that happy to see me. he doesn't even know me hardly. and if he knows OF me, then that only makes it creepy. because it means he is interested in me for the 'wrong reasons' (aka he is interested in me for reasons that aren't likely to make him particularly helpful to, or good for, me).
but he did seem to be genuinely trying.
and... when i realised... that probably the best i was going to get re: consistant... support? from the service was him seeing me regularly... so i sort of kind of asked if i could... he seemed happy. which is... well... better than if he wasn't, i guess.
but still... he said the skills training person was away... and i should meet with her once she gets back... and then see...
so maybe the idea is that i work with her? or that she does some kind of group and i go to that... probably more likely the latter...
i got some stuff about the autism support network. they seem to do movies... which i'm not that keen on, honestly. it drives me f*ck*ng bonkers that the average public person who goes to the f*ck*ng movies is incapable of shutting the f*ck up throughout the entirety of the f*ck*ng movie...
and... i just don't know. i don't know. i don't f*ck*ng know about that...
what i would most like:
is to regularly see the doctor lady. who listened to me. then she said they would have an interdisciplinary team meeting on tuesday and they would email me... then i went back on friday... and said that i didn't believe them that they would email me... and she just listened... anyway... the point is... i click with her. i can speak freely. at my usual rate. with my usual words. with my usual tone of voice. and she just listens... and f*ck*ng well gets it. with nurse guy... he's trying, i do get that. he's frantically writing notes... but he doesn't f*ck*ng get it. i'm an alien life form to him. he's probably got some catch-phrase words like 'genius' or what the f*ck ever that make me interesting to him - but that isn't it at all. and that isn't good for me at all. i just need someone who is capable of turning off all the f*ck*ng happy puppy noises and just listening to the f*ck*ng message of what i'm f*ck*ng well saying when i've actually got something to say. and most people... can't. and yet the public health system insists that these people are what is needed.
yes dear. i totally understand every f*ck*ng thing you have ever said in your life. and i promise from the depths of my heart that everything will be totally 100% okay because now i smile at you. cha ching.
oh... you aren't magically better?
IT IS YOUR F*CK*NG FAULT -- YOU BITCH!!!!!
uh huh.
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 17, 2014, at 10:15:32
In reply to follow up..., posted by alexandra_k on January 16, 2014, at 23:46:39
Sounds like you're making a lot of assumptions.
If you don't understand nonverbal communication you may not realize that he was picking up your feelings toward him. He may not have been thinking you were a genius at all LOL. I suspect it is you thinking that not him. He may have been overeffusive to cover up his resentment of your superior attitude towards him. Or you may just need to accept other personality styles.Since you chose to be labelled Aspergers your therapy is likely to be directed toward teaching you these things rather than "understanding" you.
> so... i did get a follow up. with the mental health nurse guy.
>
> he was okay... i gave him my whole 'please don't say you understand when you don't comprehend' speel... and... well... i'm not entirely sure he got it... but then, i'm not entirely sure it makes sense to 99.9% of the people out there, so...
>
> when i went to leave... he was all profuse... it was SO nice to meet you, i mean really it was SO WONDERFUL to have met you. over and over...
>
> sycophantic?
>
> slightly creepy?
>
> i remembered that that was how he was after the appointment with the dr and the registrar, too. it creeped me out a little then.
>
> i mean... he can't possibly be that happy to see me. he doesn't even know me hardly. and if he knows OF me, then that only makes it creepy. because it means he is interested in me for the 'wrong reasons' (aka he is interested in me for reasons that aren't likely to make him particularly helpful to, or good for, me).
>
> but he did seem to be genuinely trying.
>
> and... when i realised... that probably the best i was going to get re: consistant... support? from the service was him seeing me regularly... so i sort of kind of asked if i could... he seemed happy. which is... well... better than if he wasn't, i guess.
>
> but still... he said the skills training person was away... and i should meet with her once she gets back... and then see...
>
> so maybe the idea is that i work with her? or that she does some kind of group and i go to that... probably more likely the latter...
>
> i got some stuff about the autism support network. they seem to do movies... which i'm not that keen on, honestly. it drives me f*ck*ng bonkers that the average public person who goes to the f*ck*ng movies is incapable of shutting the f*ck up throughout the entirety of the f*ck*ng movie...
>
> and... i just don't know. i don't know. i don't f*ck*ng know about that...
>
> what i would most like:
>
> is to regularly see the doctor lady. who listened to me. then she said they would have an interdisciplinary team meeting on tuesday and they would email me... then i went back on friday... and said that i didn't believe them that they would email me... and she just listened... anyway... the point is... i click with her. i can speak freely. at my usual rate. with my usual words. with my usual tone of voice. and she just listens... and f*ck*ng well gets it. with nurse guy... he's trying, i do get that. he's frantically writing notes... but he doesn't f*ck*ng get it. i'm an alien life form to him. he's probably got some catch-phrase words like 'genius' or what the f*ck ever that make me interesting to him - but that isn't it at all. and that isn't good for me at all. i just need someone who is capable of turning off all the f*ck*ng happy puppy noises and just listening to the f*ck*ng message of what i'm f*ck*ng well saying when i've actually got something to say. and most people... can't. and yet the public health system insists that these people are what is needed.
>
> yes dear. i totally understand every f*ck*ng thing you have ever said in your life. and i promise from the depths of my heart that everything will be totally 100% okay because now i smile at you. cha ching.
>
> oh... you aren't magically better?
>
> IT IS YOUR F*CK*NG FAULT -- YOU BITCH!!!!!
>
> uh huh.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 2:47:31
In reply to who thinks you're a genius ? » alexandra_k, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 17, 2014, at 10:15:32
I've seen enough clinicians over the years to have a pretty good sense of who I can work well with, and who I can't.
I have persisted in trying to work with a number of clinicians who I didn't click with - in fairly much the same way that I don't click with him. It hasn't worked out particularly well for me before, and I don't see why it would be likely to work out particularly well for me now.
> Sounds like you're making a lot of assumptions.
> If you don't understand nonverbal communication you may not realize that he was picking up your feelings toward him. He may not have been thinking you were a genius at all LOL. I suspect it is you thinking that not him. He may have been overeffusive to cover up his resentment of your superior attitude towards him. Or you may just need to accept other personality styles.
Please don't post to me anymore.The point of 'genius' isn't 'better than' the point of 'genius' is 'stereotype' and 'circus freak' and 'believes in fairies'.
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 18, 2014, at 7:00:58
In reply to follow up..., posted by alexandra_k on January 16, 2014, at 23:46:39
This guy works online. Maybe New Zealand could contract him if no one is available locally? If only .1 percent of folk are able to understand this person? Don't they owe it to her?
Narcissistic rage may also express a frustrated sense of entitlement, by which I mean the feeling that one has a right to be given something which others believe should be obtained through effort, and unrealistic expectations of favorable treatment or automatic compliance with ones expectations. While this is a characteristic feature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Ive seen it in every borderline client Ive treated, and in many clients with Bipolar Disorder symptoms, as well. A sense of entitlement reflects an inflated view of ones own importance and rights, which features intermittently in many psychological states of mind. No doubt youve known people who express this sense of entitlement, whether or not they fit into any of the diagnostic categories with which weve all become familiar.
I dont know whether the phrase is still in current use, but when I was a young man, people used to say, He thinks the world owes him a living. It was highly pejorative and usually said in a tone of irritation. We tend to dislike people who convey a sense of entitlement, in part because they implicitly place themselves above everyone else, as if different standards should apply to them. They may come across as condescending or patronizing; they may feel and express contempt for other people, as if they consider themselves to be superior. They often expect to be taken care of financially and behave in exploitative ways
http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/narcissistic-rage/
Posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 15:00:43
In reply to Re: follow up..., posted by HomelyCygnet on January 18, 2014, at 7:00:58
I'm really not sure what part of 'please don't post to me' is hard for you. Your vocabulary is better than mine, so that can't be it...
The guy you posted a link to... Do you think you would work well with him? He strikes me as someone who would be very poorly suited indeed to work with me. He strikes me as someone whose preferred mode of operation is to work collude with a client in blaming their significant other for being a naggy, whiny, narcissistic bitch. or bastard. as the case may be. aka: make happy puppy noises and rail against the alleged cause of the upset. Perhaps he has an x wife or two... And he gets some sort of peace for himself in working like that.
If that doesn't help his client sufficiently (and / or if his client isn't sufficiently happy / enthusiastic / appreciative of his efforts) then he strikes me as the sort of person who would turn against his client. He'd rail at them for being a naggy, whiny, narcissistic bitch.
Does he treat these people he's willing to label 'narcissistic', I wonder? How does he treat them? A little of the 'I have to hurt you -- its helping you / it's for your own good really'. How effectively does he treat narcissists?
Or is he just using a pseudo-technical term with a test that is about as rigerous as the good old 'if they sink they weren't a witch after all' in order to... Blame the people who are most in need of help.
That, uh, he is probably ill suited to provide, anyway.
Is sort of how he strikes me.
I do work well with some clinicians. Not many... But some. Unfortunately, those tend to be the people who can do very well in private practice. So they don't typically find themselves working in the public system over here. Or: Working in the public system over here isn't particularly conducive to ones own psychological health. Or... Those who settle for working in the public service over here aren't typically the brightest.
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 18, 2014, at 15:19:42
In reply to Re: follow up..., posted by alexandra_k on January 18, 2014, at 15:00:43
I thought this poster said she wasn't going to open my posts for a week. I guess she changed her mind. Apparently she didn't read the part where the guy said he didn't like to use diagnostic labels. I don't really know why she is so angry. It was such a hostile evaluation of the guy. Seems to be a pattern with her.
But I haven't read a lot of his articles so undoubtedly she knows best. I guess he's just another loser boy in the 99.9 percent :)
I don't really know enough about to know if I would want to do therapy with him. But my impression of him was not all like A's. Maybe the reaction is more about her than him.
> I'm really not sure what part of 'please don't post to me' is hard for you. Your vocabulary is better than mine, so that can't be it...
>
> The guy you posted a link to... Do you think you would work well with him? He strikes me as someone who would be very poorly suited indeed to work with me. He strikes me as someone whose preferred mode of operation is to work collude with a client in blaming their significant other for being a naggy, whiny, narcissistic bitch. or bastard. as the case may be. aka: make happy puppy noises and rail against the alleged cause of the upset. Perhaps he has an x wife or two... And he gets some sort of peace for himself in working like that.
>
> If that doesn't help his client sufficiently (and / or if his client isn't sufficiently happy / enthusiastic / appreciative of his efforts) then he strikes me as the sort of person who would turn against his client. He'd rail at them for being a naggy, whiny, narcissistic bitch.
>
> Does he treat these people he's willing to label 'narcissistic', I wonder? How does he treat them? A little of the 'I have to hurt you -- its helping you / it's for your own good really'. How effectively does he treat narcissists?
>
> Or is he just using a pseudo-technical term with a test that is about as rigerous as the good old 'if they sink they weren't a witch after all' in order to... Blame the people who are most in need of help.
>
> That, uh, he is probably ill suited to provide, anyway.
>
> Is sort of how he strikes me.
>
> I do work well with some clinicians. Not many... But some. Unfortunately, those tend to be the people who can do very well in private practice. So they don't typically find themselves working in the public system over here. Or: Working in the public system over here isn't particularly conducive to ones own psychological health. Or... Those who settle for working in the public service over here aren't typically the brightest.
>
>
>
>
>
Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 1:18:07
In reply to Re: follow up..., posted by HomelyCygnet on January 18, 2014, at 15:19:42
i had a massive brain f*rt or something and totally misread your post.
i somehow managed to misinterpret it as your threatening to send my post to the guy i saw...
where did i get that from??
i've been feeling under a lot of pressure / stress about what i might be studying this year... very concerned about that... the direction of my life.
i... do feel a bit bad that i'm judgemental... that i'm a bit stuck up... that i'm... intolerant of others. intolerant of difference. that i'm mean to people rather than kind. and so on. i do worry about these things sometimes. but if i'm not careful i feel like a horrible awful person who may as well shoot myself in the head righ tnow.... and that isn't hte most helpful way to feel...
so... some conception i can live with... k but that also gets me feeling kindly disposed to others and wanting to improve myself in how i conduct myself towards others...
i think...
i'm going to raise the issue with him. about the (to my mind excessive) stuff on his being happy to see me. i think jokey is best - but i'm not sure i can pull it off. if he does it next time.... i'll do something then. be jokey... you can't POSSIBLY be that happy to see me?? see if he sort of gets the hint.
maybe he is doing it on purpose. to assess my social skills... my judgements about appropriateness or inappropriateness... patronising... was a word he raised. unclear to me whether others have raised this in response to him or whether he is intentionally putting it in... maybe they have matched me to work with him because...
we might both be helped?
?
perhaps.
perhaps.
i shouldn't be so quick to judge.
and what i said about internet guy... wasn't about him. i was actually thinking of particular other people... i don't know anything about internet guy, of course. he didn't look that bad... but he is... well... he is writing to a 'popular audience' which doesn't particularly inspire me.... but, whatever.
i'm sorry i went off at you. i needed... some space, honestly. some space. and now i've had some and i'm good. i hope we are still good. i hope i didn't hurt / offend you. i do appreciate your contribution to my threads... i find you... disturbing. in a mostly good way. i'm glad you are here.
This is the end of the thread.
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