Posted by alexandra_k on January 16, 2014, at 23:46:39
so... i did get a follow up. with the mental health nurse guy.
he was okay... i gave him my whole 'please don't say you understand when you don't comprehend' speel... and... well... i'm not entirely sure he got it... but then, i'm not entirely sure it makes sense to 99.9% of the people out there, so...
when i went to leave... he was all profuse... it was SO nice to meet you, i mean really it was SO WONDERFUL to have met you. over and over...
sycophantic?
slightly creepy?
i remembered that that was how he was after the appointment with the dr and the registrar, too. it creeped me out a little then.
i mean... he can't possibly be that happy to see me. he doesn't even know me hardly. and if he knows OF me, then that only makes it creepy. because it means he is interested in me for the 'wrong reasons' (aka he is interested in me for reasons that aren't likely to make him particularly helpful to, or good for, me).
but he did seem to be genuinely trying.
and... when i realised... that probably the best i was going to get re: consistant... support? from the service was him seeing me regularly... so i sort of kind of asked if i could... he seemed happy. which is... well... better than if he wasn't, i guess.
but still... he said the skills training person was away... and i should meet with her once she gets back... and then see...
so maybe the idea is that i work with her? or that she does some kind of group and i go to that... probably more likely the latter...
i got some stuff about the autism support network. they seem to do movies... which i'm not that keen on, honestly. it drives me f*ck*ng bonkers that the average public person who goes to the f*ck*ng movies is incapable of shutting the f*ck up throughout the entirety of the f*ck*ng movie...
and... i just don't know. i don't know. i don't f*ck*ng know about that...
what i would most like:
is to regularly see the doctor lady. who listened to me. then she said they would have an interdisciplinary team meeting on tuesday and they would email me... then i went back on friday... and said that i didn't believe them that they would email me... and she just listened... anyway... the point is... i click with her. i can speak freely. at my usual rate. with my usual words. with my usual tone of voice. and she just listens... and f*ck*ng well gets it. with nurse guy... he's trying, i do get that. he's frantically writing notes... but he doesn't f*ck*ng get it. i'm an alien life form to him. he's probably got some catch-phrase words like 'genius' or what the f*ck ever that make me interesting to him - but that isn't it at all. and that isn't good for me at all. i just need someone who is capable of turning off all the f*ck*ng happy puppy noises and just listening to the f*ck*ng message of what i'm f*ck*ng well saying when i've actually got something to say. and most people... can't. and yet the public health system insists that these people are what is needed.
yes dear. i totally understand every f*ck*ng thing you have ever said in your life. and i promise from the depths of my heart that everything will be totally 100% okay because now i smile at you. cha ching.
oh... you aren't magically better?
IT IS YOUR F*CK*NG FAULT -- YOU BITCH!!!!!
uh huh.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1058730.html