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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by saw on October 14, 2004, at 2:38:33
I do not meet the diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder but I do know that I have a problem and that I obsess about my weight or about food. I have a shockingly poor self image.
I was actually searching the net for info on a distended stomach and serotonin and came upon this interesting site about disordered behaviours and eating.
Even though a lot of the obvious is stated which does diddly when I'm convinced I'm fat, I did feel a little less guilty eating breakfast this morning.
http://www.snac.ucla.edu/pages/Body_Image/Disordered_Behaviors.htm
Sabrina
Posted by Stressee on October 14, 2004, at 7:51:28
In reply to Disordered behaviour (eating), posted by saw on October 14, 2004, at 2:38:33
Welcome Sabrina, I wanted to say you are lucky to have found this board. I was searching for my daughters Binge Eating Disorder, when I found it. Feel free to talk about anything, we are here to listen and offer any advice we can. Are you seeing any sort of a Dr. or therapist? That is the place to start. They can help emmensly with congnative therapy, and medication if needed. My daughter is taking some medications for this, and if you click over to the Medication Board you will be able to read everything we have posted. Take it day by day, and don't beat yourself up. You can't even emagine how many people are in the same place you are right now. -L
Posted by saw on October 14, 2004, at 8:34:24
In reply to Re: Disordered behaviour (eating) » saw, posted by Stressee on October 14, 2004, at 7:51:28
Hi Stressee
I see now I didn't express myself clearly. I didn't mean the babble site being the interesting one, but the link that I posted. I have been part of babble for almost 3 months now. (Already??). I post very frequently on all the boards, much to the irritation of others I'm sure.
The eating thing is just another lettuce leaf in my salad of major depressive disorder, GAD, alcoholism and severely distorted self image.
I am currently taking Effexor XR 150mg but will be talking to my pdoc next week to change due to excessive weight gain. Hence the obsessing!
I discontinued my therapy. I tend to put a steel wall between myself and a therapist. I just find it impossible to relax and tend to run around in circles. I have many past traumas to still deal with, so I may go back at some point.
Whew - well, that was just a little bit about me.
Sabrina
Posted by Racer on October 14, 2004, at 13:04:59
In reply to Disordered behaviour (eating), posted by saw on October 14, 2004, at 2:38:33
Hey, Sabrina,
You say you don't meet the criteria for an eating disorder, but it's time to rethink that. If you're obsessing about food and your weight and the size and shape of your body, you do meet the criteria for an eating disorder. It may not be one of The Big Two (Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa), but there's also Binge Eating Disorder and Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. ED-NOS is used for things like binging and purging, but not twice a week, or anorexia without amenorrhea.
Besides, the biggest issue is whether the disordered eating causes significant distress to you -- if it does, it's a problem, regardless of whether it can be identified in the DSM.
As someone who does have an eating disorder -- ED-NOS, because I do still get my periods, despite being about 68% of my healthy weight -- I will share some of what I've learned over the years. The biggest thing for me is that the eating is related to just that same brick wall between myself and my emotions that you described in explaining why you stopped therapy. The more I want to suppress my emotions, the more I repress eating behavior. I know, from past experience, that the only way to improve the eating/weight/body issues, is to improve my ability to access my emotions, so therapy is the number one priority -- even though there's a wall between me and the therapist and my emotions. Until I break through that wall, I won't be able to break the cycle of self-starvation. What's more, it's a vicious circle: the less I eat, the less energy I have for emotions, so the harder it is to access them. That's why I need the therapy to help me past this.
In other words, I'd suggest giving therapy another try. You don't have to think about it as a way of processing all your traumas, you can try a sort of band aid therapy, just to work on accessing your emotions, breaking down the wall between yourself and the experience of feeling. Then, later, when you're ready, you can decide whether or not to go into therapy for the traumas. Of course, it's likely some of those traumas will emerge during your initial therapy, but you can start out with a specific goal, communicated clearly to your therapist, that this is about getting in touch with your emotions, NOT the past traumas.
I hope that helps. And best luck to you.
Posted by saw on October 15, 2004, at 2:09:23
In reply to Re: Disordered behaviour (eating) » saw, posted by Racer on October 14, 2004, at 13:04:59
Thank you Racer. I have followed your journey on other threads and appreciate your reply.
You have given me much to think about. So I will do that for now (thinking that is) and take it from there.
Sabrina
Posted by antigua on October 15, 2004, at 15:21:58
In reply to Re: Disordered behaviour (eating) » saw, posted by Racer on October 14, 2004, at 13:04:59
As usual, Racer, you described it eloquently.
For me, I can look in the mirror when I weigh 98 lbs or 140 lbs and see no difference at all. I'm always fat.
I have found that the more difficult the emotions I am trying to deal with, the more difficult it is for me to eat.
Why oh why do I feel the need to starve myself? Starved of emotion and nurturing, I guess.
I find it so very hard to take care of myself.
best,
antigua
Posted by Racer on October 18, 2004, at 12:34:22
In reply to Re: Disordered behaviour (eating) » Racer, posted by antigua on October 15, 2004, at 15:21:58
Thank you. I never think I've expressed myself very well, so it's always a real boost to be told that someone else thinks I have.
And the funny part is that I don't think I'm all that fat at 140! In fact, I "feel" fatter now, at [mumble] than I do at 145 -- which is about the best weight I've found for myself, and also what Dr CattleProd thinks is right for me. I don't know what happens to me, but I suspect that it's just a lack of that same obsessional focus when I'm at a healthier weight. I also suspect that it has something to do with my brain being starved of nutrients, so I can't think past something as simple as my weight.
Oh, well -- the worst part for me is how many times I've given my "healthy body weight/healthy eating/Strong Women/beautiful, feminine body" speech to other women and to girls. I've worked so hard to recognize signs of eating disorders in my students, and in other women around m;, I've tried -- and often succeeded -- in modelling healthier attitudes about food and weight and body shape; and I've been pretty damned healthy around it for a long time. Now, though, I know that I'm not anywhere near healthy, my husband reminds me periodically that I look "terrible", and I can feel how weak I've become -- especially compared to what I was! I used to do all the heavy work around here, because I was so much stronger than my husband. I could lift and carry very nearly my own weight without a lot of difficulty. I could climb ladders up to the very top of our cathedral ceiling and change the smoke detectors up at the peak. Now, though, it's hard even to push a shopping cart with bottled water at Costco -- which weighs about twice what I weigh, but it is on wheels. Getting the water into the trunk of the car is enough to exhaust me, too. For that matter, my husband has to get the cases of water out of the cabinet where they're stored, for me to put into the refrigerator, because I can no longer do it myself. And I used to be STRONG! I could bench press almost as much as a lot of men at one time, almost my body weight.
Ah, well. I guess it's part of being 'sick' -- and why it's a good thing I have Dr CattleProd and SparklingBright.
Thanks again, Antigua, for the compliment. I do save those up, and take them out to warm me when I'm cold.
Posted by antigua on October 18, 2004, at 13:39:28
In reply to Re: Disordered behaviour (eating) » antigua, posted by Racer on October 18, 2004, at 12:34:22
Hey, don't feel bad. I'm a total weakling and always have been! And proud of it! All of my strength is in my mind.
I'll think of you next time I'm strolling through Costco looking for massive quanitities of unnecessary things that I convince myself I HAVE to have.
best,
antigua
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