Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem Thread 778358

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Insecure

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 24, 2007, at 14:25:12

Am I good enough to hop back into academia?

I'm feeling pretty strange about my decision to go back to school part time. Ambivalence has been manifested in me not answering emails from my recommendation letter-writer. Me missing deadlines. Me deciding to have transcript sent regular vs. express mail.

I dunno. Hope things work out. or do I? I *could* work full-time this year and hope that I get in next year. What would I do though. I feel that PhD is all nice and everything but i have no job experience, and I can't find anything in my field that opens before 2008. damn damn damn.

is this a selfesteem issue. oh whatever.

-Ll

 

Re: Insecure » LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by ClearSkies on August 24, 2007, at 21:08:56

In reply to Insecure, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 24, 2007, at 14:25:12

> Am I good enough to hop back into academia?
>
> I'm feeling pretty strange about my decision to go back to school part time. Ambivalence has been manifested in me not answering emails from my recommendation letter-writer. Me missing deadlines. Me deciding to have transcript sent regular vs. express mail.
>
> I dunno. Hope things work out. or do I? I *could* work full-time this year and hope that I get in next year. What would I do though. I feel that PhD is all nice and everything but i have no job experience, and I can't find anything in my field that opens before 2008. damn damn damn.
>
> is this a selfesteem issue. oh whatever.
>
> -Ll


Oh course this belongs here. I read all sorts of doubts that you have about your abilities and perhaps your desires (?) to pursue them. Maybe you're just burned out from too much schoolin' for now?

I can repeat to you what my T tells me every single time she sees me - be gentle with yourself. Seems I tell it to all my friends here, because we all seem to be so good at beating ourselves up with one stick or another. Which is what helped land us in therapy in the first place.

But, I know you're really good with lists. How about some pros and cons for the vigorous pursuit of more school. That might help you work out what it is you're wanting to do versus what it is you think you're expected to do. And then there's the question of what would be the healthiest choice for LlurpsieNoodle? Perhaps seeing all your choices written out would take some of the angst out of what you're seeing as your procrastination.

cs

 

Re: Insecure » ClearSkies

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 24, 2007, at 22:00:30

In reply to Re: Insecure » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by ClearSkies on August 24, 2007, at 21:08:56

Hi CS,
I think that I've made a dozen lists already today. The worst stinky moment was when I was waiting to hear whether a faculty member would write me a letter of recommendation. Would he? would he not? I had a list going of what would happen if he did. what would happen if he did not. agony.

to have my fate resting in someone else's hands. and knowing that he's on email ALL the time and isn't writing back to me. (yes... he finally wrote me back, told me it was sent- whew!)

Made me feel like a dumbass.

Talked to my bro, he said it seemed like a good idea, we talked a bit about how he also decided to pursue two different graduate degrees. Some interesting parallels. It's almost like we share something in common, like our genes or environments or something.

I've decided to get my toes wet by only doing the program 1 day a week this semester. I will take one intensive class and kick some *ss in it. Then I will have more self-confidence to take 2 classes next semester and then do the full training program after that.

Sound like a plan?

Of course, it will be only a small commitment at first, to decide if this training program is for me or not.

Am I good at this stuff? People around me are saying yes. The only person I'm kinda scared of is my T. newT said I'd be good at that kind of job. QuieT and I haven't had the discussion yet, and he's out of town right now. Before he left I joked that while he was gone I would find a post-doc. haha. he probably thought I was joking. I will do my best to maximize the dramatic effect of my announcement and see if I can make him fall out of his chair. I think every one of my T's deserves to experience the full onslaught of Llurpsie-style impetuosity.

Anyways, grandmom is my financial aid this semester, so it's not going to ruin me to take a class or two.

(((((((grandmom))))))))

-Ll

 

Re: Insecure » LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by ClearSkies on August 25, 2007, at 16:54:34

In reply to Re: Insecure » ClearSkies, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 24, 2007, at 22:00:30

Getting your toes wet sounds like a well thought out plan, and wise.
I hope your party is a ginormous success and that everybody cleans up after themselves!!

ClearSkies

 

tiramisu » ClearSkies

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 25, 2007, at 19:28:26

In reply to Re: Insecure » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by ClearSkies on August 25, 2007, at 16:54:34

anyone want any. got cheescake too. and gourmet blue cheese burgers. My food was a hit, and I drank too much. yeah, it ended early, but that's okay. sleepy...

partythrowing lot of work.

i think i was popular enough. clearskeislt would have neogutyed my party

translation. clearshektowes woruls have enjgouyted by party

pwd yeah. guilty as charted.

=Ll

cvrachking myself up.

 

Re: tiramisu » LlurpsieNoodle

Posted by ClearSkies on August 27, 2007, at 7:48:12

In reply to tiramisu » ClearSkies, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 25, 2007, at 19:28:26

Yum, yes - I'll take some tiramisu and some cheesecake, please! My sweet tooth is still in high gear and fresh fruit is an insult with wonderful processed sugars around. Especially sugars that have been loving manipulated with chocolate, maybe, or espresso. Blue cheese only makes my acquaintance when it's paired with some killer Buffalo chicken wings. My unsophisticated palate at work (plus about 20 years' worth of trips to Buffalo, perfecting my recipe).

Hmm, it will be interesting doing my grocery shopping today!

cs


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