Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem Thread 696930

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I feel just as fat as always

Posted by Deneb on October 23, 2006, at 0:25:45

I've lost about 5 pounds yet I still feel horrible. Why can't I be happy during the process of losing weight? I overate today and I feel terrible about it. Why do I let it ruin my day?

Right now I don't think I'll be happy with myself until I'm 95 pounds, but what if it's not enough? What if I'm not thin enough at 95?

I wish I had better self esteem.

Deneb*

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Deneb

Posted by Lindenblüte on October 23, 2006, at 8:19:42

In reply to I feel just as fat as always, posted by Deneb on October 23, 2006, at 0:25:45

> I've lost about 5 pounds yet I still feel horrible. Why can't I be happy during the process of losing weight? I overate today and I feel terrible about it. Why do I let it ruin my day?

Well, one reason why you don't feel happy is because our bodies are not deisgned to tolerate weight loss. Our bodies send out signals that "something is WRONG!!!- find FOOD!!" That might be why you overate.

> Right now I don't think I'll be happy with myself until I'm 95 pounds, but what if it's not enough? What if I'm not thin enough at 95?
>
> I wish I had better self esteem.
>
> Deneb*

Will you be happy if you reach a magic number? How about in the past? I know that when I weighed my lowest ever, I was also pretty miserable. I had been working SO hard, all summer long, and I realized that my skinnier body got a lot of attention, and I HATED it! I hated being constantly obsessed by comparing mybody against my peers (I was in college, plenty of peers to compare). My female professors were all groaning about their figures, and complimenting mine. I would have rather shrunk to nothing and hid in the corners, but you can't hide a person, no matter how he or she looks! I would get catcalls on the street and feel trashy. I had new clothes, and I never truly felt comfortable. Mind you- this is a BMI of 20- not underweight. Not eating disordered.

So- go back to your own personal history. How happy were you with yourself at various sizes. Think really carefully.

I found that exercise and building strength and endurance were MUCH more satisfying to my self-esteem than the number on my clothing size or the scale. I felt a real accomplishment that I could bench press 80 lbs at one point (I have NO upper body strength!!) or make it through an entire aerobics class without cheating. I found a lot of satisfaction in being able to do the splits as a 25 year-old, or being able to run a mile in less than 10 minutes.

I'm writing this because I still have a voice inside my head that wants to be that smaller number too. The truth, though, is that I just want to be stronger and have more endurance. I actually LIKE being soft and womanly, but I don't like having a fear of not being able to keep up with my friends if we go on a hike or a bike together.

I'm also writing this because I know that the number on the outside rarely influences the number on the inside. I was overweight (even obese at some points) during most of my childhood and adolescence. Often, I find myself still instinctively reaching for a size 16 or 18, eight years after I lost my "baby fat". Big baggy clothes, etc.

Well, think carefully about numbers and their relation to happiness. I'd hate for you to suffer a strict diet and punish yourself for every slip-up and failure-- all in the search for a goal which was never attainable.

yours,
-Li

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger?

Posted by Declan on October 23, 2006, at 14:51:19

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Deneb, posted by Lindenblüte on October 23, 2006, at 8:19:42

You would know you can eat like a horse and eat yourself thin, just be eating the right kinds of food?
I did it.
I would go through half a bucket of feed a day, at least.
And you know how (ignoramus talking here) they work out calories? They incinerate food items and see the heat produced. I pay no attention to this kind of stuff.

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan

Posted by Lindenblüte on October 23, 2006, at 15:06:29

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger?, posted by Declan on October 23, 2006, at 14:51:19

> You would know you can eat like a horse and eat yourself thin, just be eating the right kinds of food?
> I did it.
> I would go through half a bucket of feed a day, at least.

Oohh! what kind of feed? alfalfa hay? Oats? grain? Did you allow yourself the occasional treat of an apple, a carrot or a chance at the salt lick?

> And you know how (ignoramus talking here) they work out calories? They incinerate food items and see the heat produced. I pay no attention to this kind of stuff.

yes. I wish I didn't have to. Unfortunately, my brain has learned to ignore my stomach's messages of "need more food" "slow down eating" "Full now reaching capacity... ABOUT TO BLOW!!!"

Bummer that these signals are transmitted at the speed of the endocrine system, whereas lindenblossoms can eat at the speed of teenage males during body-building camp!

incinerate all that food! what a waste. think of the starving children in...? I worry about potential incivility here. never know what's gonna be considered insensitive. bite my lips.

now THERE's an IDEA!

-Li

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger?

Posted by Declan on October 23, 2006, at 15:13:11

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan, posted by Lindenblüte on October 23, 2006, at 15:06:29

When I went to Hanoi 10 years ago the whole city looked like it was full of Buddhist monks, just like Thailand was 30 years ago. It's the food they (used to) eat.
We just need to eat like that. And it's OK.

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Lindenblüte

Posted by Declan on October 23, 2006, at 15:53:55

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan, posted by Lindenblüte on October 23, 2006, at 15:06:29

Goodmorning Lurps
I shall add an apple and 2 carrots to my feed bin today since you so kindly suggest it.
Declan

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan

Posted by Racer on October 24, 2006, at 0:25:04

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Lindenblüte, posted by Declan on October 23, 2006, at 15:53:55

> Goodmorning Lurps
> I shall add an apple and 2 carrots to my feed bin today since you so kindly suggest it.
> Declan

My late, beloved mare used to love watermelon rind. I think you should add some of that, too, as a special treat.

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Racer

Posted by Declan on October 24, 2006, at 14:45:35

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan, posted by Racer on October 24, 2006, at 0:25:04

Our horse responds very well to mango, as do I. She has an interesting curl of the top lip. Not so fond of garlic.

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan

Posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2006, at 22:33:04

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Racer, posted by Declan on October 24, 2006, at 14:45:35

But she won't get a cold as it has antibiotic properties. And Li I did feel better inside when teaching Aerobics and modeling nothing fancy but good for the self-esteem. That's why I will excercise till the day I die. I was told I was the inspiration of this neighborhood riding my bike daily no matter the weather not in heavy rain though. I'm not heavy or skinny just right according to weight charts adding for extra leg muscle. I'm proud of my fitness. Love Phillipa

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan

Posted by Racer on October 24, 2006, at 22:41:37

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Racer, posted by Declan on October 24, 2006, at 14:45:35

I knew there was a reason I liked you!

The upper lip thing? Is that the Flehman (sp?) face? Where they're trying to get the scent to whatever that gland is? (We used to call it a "dilt" -- "Oh, look, he's dilting!" Dunno if anyone else ever heard that one, though.) Or the "ooooh, that's my itchy spot" face?

My little mare was so funny -- when I first met her, she'd nearly turn inside out at the sight of grooming tools. After a while, though, it got to where if I took less than half an hour with the currycomb, she's look at me like, "What? You're shortchanging me here!" (And after that, there was the harder brush, the softer brush, and the special face brush, and don't let's talk about what her ladyship's feet required!)

:-)

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Phillipa

Posted by Lindenblüte on October 25, 2006, at 7:46:47

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Declan, posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2006, at 22:33:04

you're the inspiration of Li too, Phillipa. Your committment to being physically fit makes your life happier and healthier, and I think it's great that you can do this with such regularity, even when there's bad weather (or bad weather inside your head)

I am going to exercise again tonight. 2 days ago I did strength training (chest and torso muscles) and the cross country ski machine, which I'm still learning how to use. I think I will feel better though, if I can make this a regular part of my life.

cheers,
-Li

 

Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Lindenblüte

Posted by Phillipa on October 25, 2006, at 19:27:04

In reply to Re: I feel just as fat as always- ED trigger? » Phillipa, posted by Lindenblüte on October 25, 2006, at 7:46:47

Li it's what keeps me going. Love Phillipa ps I wish I still had my treadmill as daylight savings is this Saturday night and it will be dark by 5pm.


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