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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Poet on August 24, 2006, at 22:10:28
In therapy, yet, so I have a bonified witness.
I was talking about my latest job interview and that the interviewer before she set up a face to face asked what salary I was looking for. I told her X, usually I dance around it and say it's negotiable. I need to hear about the job...
My T asked if I was worried about giving an actual amount and I said *if I said anything less than X I'm devaluing myself. I am worth more than X.*
She looked around the room and said *who else is in this room? I heard someone with positive self esteem say she didn't want to devalue herself.*
At today's interview salary wasn't mentioned, but she knows my current crap wage and she agreed I am underpaid. Pray I get the job and it pays X or better! I really would be good at it. Geez, was that more self esteem?
Poet
Posted by crazy teresa on August 25, 2006, at 8:02:59
In reply to A Little Bit of Self Esteem Today, posted by Poet on August 24, 2006, at 22:10:28
That's awesome! Good for you!
Posted by llrrrpp on August 25, 2006, at 10:12:10
In reply to Re: A Little Bit of Self Esteem Today » Poet, posted by crazy teresa on August 25, 2006, at 8:02:59
Poet-
Here's hoping for a good end to the cycle of low self-esteem.You think you are unworthy, so you don't ask for a respectable salary. You are subsequently underpaid, recognize it as underpaid and consider yourself unworthy of adequate remuneration.
How about this, for a change. Poet is worthy of being paid well for the good work she does. The better you pay Poet, the happier Poet will be to do this work. A happy Poet makes a better employee, and a better employee will be well paid, and set up for promotions. The more recognition Poet gets on the job, the better her self-esteem will be.
And so on.
consider yourself recognized. Take it to heart. you are a valuable asset in the workplace. They need you, and they want to pay you what you're worth. In their eyes, you are worth much more than you're currently being paid.
Cheers,
-ll
Posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 11:41:43
In reply to Re: A Little Bit of Self Esteem Today, posted by llrrrpp on August 25, 2006, at 10:12:10
WOW! So good to hear! You go girl!
Posted by Racer on August 25, 2006, at 13:34:40
In reply to A Little Bit of Self Esteem Today, posted by Poet on August 24, 2006, at 22:10:28
>
> My T asked if I was worried about giving an actual amount and I said *if I said anything less than X I'm devaluing myself. I am worth more than X.*
>I'm so glad I had a chance to say that... ;-D
Congratulations, Poet, for recognizing that.
Here's something else I've learned over the years: if you ask for more money, people respect you more. If you say, "well, I'm looking for [X], but I'll negotiate downwards," they won't respect you as much, they're much more likely to take advantage of you in other ways, and generally speaking you won't get a chance to show anyone -- especially yourself -- what a fabulous and wonderful Poet you really are. So, go in there and say, "I want [X], because I'm worth at least that much."
xoxo
You go, Poet!
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on August 26, 2006, at 7:32:07
In reply to HA! I told you so! » Poet, posted by Racer on August 25, 2006, at 13:34:40
Yeah its like you've gotto believe it yourself before others will believe (and see it in) you.
Its like I had this roommate with sky high (actually inappropriate) self esteem. She was always going on about how great she was, how many men fancied her etc etc. But people believed her, it kind of influences your opionion of someone when they have really high/low self esteem, if that makes sense. And I believed her to begin with, and as I have low self esteem, I totally thought she was 'better' than me. But I got better grades than her, someone actually told me I was prettier than her and it took me totally by surprise! I was so used to thinking of her, like she did, if that makes sense.
Obviously, this is kind of at face value, because when you really got to know her (as only a roommate can!) you realised that she got terrible grades, spent ages making herself look nice in the mornings and flirted with every man going (and it probably helped that she was natural 34DD)
But to begin with, what a person really believes about themselves can really influence what other people think about you. At least at face value. Obviously once you get to know someone real well it doesn't really hold true, but still. Its quite a scary thought!
And probably quite applicable at job interviews.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Poet on August 26, 2006, at 16:19:40
In reply to Re: A Little Bit of Self Esteem Today » Poet, posted by crazy teresa on August 25, 2006, at 8:02:59
Thanks crazyteresa.
Now if I can just get my negative brain to stop telling me I blew the interview...though at least if I did something wrong it wasn't asking for money!
Poet
Posted by Poet on August 26, 2006, at 17:12:44
In reply to Re: A Little Bit of Self Esteem Today, posted by llrrrpp on August 25, 2006, at 10:12:10
Hi llrrrpp,
I sent an eloquent suck up letter and will pop a few Clonazepam to get up the courage to call if I don't hear from her by next Thursday.
I do deserve a job that uses my brain and pays me what I am worth. And let me tell you I am worth far more than where I am stuck in my current circumstances. Wow, more self esteem.
Thank you for your encouragement.
Poet
Posted by Poet on August 26, 2006, at 17:13:40
In reply to Re: A Little Bit of Self Esteem Today, posted by happyflower on August 25, 2006, at 11:41:43
Hi Happyflower,
My T really looked surprised. I wonder what I looked like when I said it?
Poet
Posted by Poet on August 26, 2006, at 17:15:14
In reply to HA! I told you so! » Poet, posted by Racer on August 25, 2006, at 13:34:40
Hi Racer,
Okay so you were right- this time. Hee. Hee. Please call her and that you are always right and that I am the right choice, okay. Would you do that for me? Please?
Poet
Posted by Poet on August 26, 2006, at 17:20:28
In reply to Re: HA! I told you so! » Racer, posted by Meri-Tuuli on August 26, 2006, at 7:32:07
Hi Meri-Tuuli,
Honestly you'd think science could come up with self esteem transplants. Take it away from those who have over inflated egos and distribute it to those of us who have very little.
I hope I came across as sure of myself in the interview. She did ask for my references at the end of the interview and said I'd be hearing from her. I hope my suck up letter impressed her, too. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Poet
This is the end of the thread.
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