![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 15 to 39 of 39. Go back in thread:
Posted by OddipusRex on June 20, 2003, at 17:57:14
In reply to Re: I am fed up with..., posted by wendy b. on June 20, 2003, at 12:16:20
Wendy do you mean you know her in real life or know her as someone who posted here under another name?
Did you intervene after she made a suicidal threat ?I wish her well but I don't think this board is a good place for that kind of emoting. I think she needs to be cared for by people who DO know her personally.
With all due respect(and your due great big bunches just like the rest of us)
OR
Posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 18:28:16
In reply to Re: Expressing Feelings--good/Suicide threats--bad » stjames, posted by OddipusRex on June 20, 2003, at 17:26:03
>
> >
> > Sadly, the far majority of suicide threats here are fake.
>
> How do you know?3 years of being on this list. Many are shown to be fake. Or, the latest. "I was drunk"
>
> >I have also found that those who are going to kill themselves just do it.
>
> How did you find this? I thought many if not most people who commit suicide had mentioned it or attempted it before.Sorry, you thought wrong.
Posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 18:30:11
In reply to Re: I am fed up with... » wendy b., posted by shar on June 20, 2003, at 16:29:26
Maybe that's what some others see as well, particularly when requests for information were met with more cryptic/mystical words.
I agree here. I feel toyed with when the subject
is so important and the answers so cryptic.
Posted by slinky on June 20, 2003, at 18:32:02
In reply to Re: Good for you Wendy! Best Wishes Slinky. (nm) » wendy b., posted by Ron Hill on June 20, 2003, at 13:03:38
..Dinah , you thought you were confused.
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2003, at 18:45:57
In reply to Re: Good for you Wendy! Best Wishes Slinky. (nm) » wendy b., posted by Ron Hill on June 20, 2003, at 13:03:38
Delightfully whimsical she may be. But that sweetie's never been anything but up front and open.
Best wishes, whomever.
Posted by slinky on June 20, 2003, at 19:12:58
In reply to Re: Not Slinky's style » Ron Hill, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2003, at 18:45:57
I have no idea who what etc.
I think I'd rather be in the dark.
Thanks Dinah...I wouldn't post under multiple names(I'd change it-not use old one )
I respect/care about people here too much.
Posted by OddipusRex on June 20, 2003, at 19:23:54
In reply to Re: Expressing Feelings--good/Suicide threats--bad, posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 18:28:16
Here's my source. Where's yours? Just because someone isn't dead doesn't mean a threat was not "real". You're entitled to your opinions of course but they ARE just your OPINIONS.
I do agree however that this board is not a good place for suicide threats.
http://www2.ucsc.edu/psychiatry/depression.html#Chapter6How Can You Tell if Suicide Is a Possibility?
While suicide is very hard to predict, there are some reliable indicators of risk.
Those who are seriously depressed are quite likely to have thoughts of suicide.
Other emotional illnesses such as severe anxiety or confusion can lead to the idea that "life is not worth living."
Anyone who has previously attempted suicide is at increased risk.
Recent losses, particularly deaths of close relatives or friends, heighten vulnerability.
Alcohol and drugs can dissolve inhibitions against suicide.
Preparations for death, such as giving away possessions or acquiring a gun, are cause for great concern.
A sudden lift in spirits in a depresed person can mean a decision has been reached that will "end the misery."Some Misconceptions About Suicide
"People who talk about it seldom do it."
The truth is that few individuals are single-minded in their decision for death; many are asking for help even as they approach the final act. Suicide threats should always be taken seriously.
> > >
> > > Sadly, the far majority of suicide threats here are fake.
> >
> > How do you know?
>
> 3 years of being on this list. Many are shown to be fake. Or, the latest. "I was drunk"
>
>
> >
> > >I have also found that those who are going to kill themselves just do it.
> >
> > How did you find this? I thought many if not most people who commit suicide had mentioned it or attempted it before.
>
> Sorry, you thought wrong.
>
>
Posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 19:31:50
In reply to Re: Expressing Feelings--good/Suicide threats--bad » stjames, posted by OddipusRex on June 20, 2003, at 19:23:54
> Here's my source. Where's yours? Just because someone isn't dead doesn't mean a threat was not "real". You're entitled to your opinions of course but they ARE just your OPINIONS.
Your source talks about behaviors & not directly
saying "I am thinking about suicide". I don't question that the behaviors or clues are often there. I donn't think it is common to be so overt about it.
Posted by Zo on June 20, 2003, at 19:39:16
In reply to I am fed up with little sphinx'es veiled threats, posted by stjames on June 19, 2003, at 11:46:11
(Like a citizen's arrest.)
(from the *inventor* of "PBC")Please don't post anything that might make others feel put down.
Please be supportive of others.
Could you rephrase that as an I statement?
It's best to omit personal judgement of others here.
This is a board for people seeking support for mental health issues. It is open to all who agree to the guidelines, and is intended to be safe for all.
Zo
p.s. to St. James -- My guess is what you probably want to do is remind yourself, this isn't a board for the expression of our personal opinion of others. Maybe a blog? Another reminder might be, it's best to err on the side of supportiveness--you never know. And just something to think about: suspicion, cynicism or the like. Are those things ever a contribution?
Just my thoughts.
Posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 19:45:26
In reply to Re: a Citizen's PBC » stjames, posted by Zo on June 20, 2003, at 19:39:16
> (Like a citizen's arrest.)
> (from the *inventor* of "PBC")Sorry, I don't see where I was uncivil, Zo.
Posted by OddipusRex on June 20, 2003, at 20:10:21
In reply to Re: Expressing Feelings--good/Suicide threats--bad, posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 19:31:50
>
> Your source talks about behaviors & not directly
> saying "I am thinking about suicide". I don't question that the behaviors or clues are often there. I donn't think it is common to be so overt about it.Please reread This a MISCONCEPTION : People who TALK about it seldom do it.
Some Misconceptions About Suicide
"People who talk about it seldom do it."
The truth is that few individuals are single-minded in their decision for death; many are asking for help even as they approach the final act. Suicide threats should always be taken seriously.
Posted by Zo on June 20, 2003, at 20:13:37
In reply to Re: a Citizen's PBC, posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 19:45:26
That's why I suggested you might want to take some time to think about it.
Or -- sorry, I'm so very seldom here* -- ask others to explain?
Thanks!
*Permanent Objection to current blocking policy.
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2003, at 20:21:02
In reply to Re: Expressing Feelings--good/Suicide threats--bad » stjames, posted by OddipusRex on June 20, 2003, at 20:10:21
> Suicide threats should always be taken seriously.
>
Abso-lutely true, Oddipus. You don't want anyone to have to prove they're serious. My parent almost brought about a very nasty situation by bringing me a knife and more or less telling me they didn't think I was serious. I was serious about feeling very very bad, however serious my ideation was. And it made me want to prove them wrong, that I did have the guts. The fact that I didn't in fact have the guts to do it was pure (?)luck(?).Whether or not a suicide threat is going to be carried through matters. But it also matters that it is someone's way of saying just how bad they feel.
That being said, real life help is always better than online help if there is a crisis.
Posted by zenhussy on June 20, 2003, at 22:15:44
In reply to Re: a Citizen's PBC, posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 19:45:26
> > (Like a citizen's arrest.)
> > (from the *inventor* of "PBC")
>
> Sorry, I don't see where I was uncivil, Zo.
>
>st james,
I am on a very unstable pc and won't be able to use it while I'm away on this family business but would you like me to compile a list of where you've been uncivil???
Sheesh! You of all people too.
very sad about the state of affairs around here,
zenhussy
Posted by shar on June 20, 2003, at 22:42:16
In reply to Re: Expressing Feelings--good/Suicide threats--bad » OddipusRex, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2003, at 20:21:02
> Abso-lutely true, Oddipus. You don't want anyone to have to prove they're serious. My parent almost brought about a very nasty situation by bringing me a knife and more or less telling me they didn't think I was serious.
My mom showed me where her handgun was after my first suicide attempt (with aspirin, no less, which I do NOT recommend to ANYBODY who does not want tinnitus for the rest of their life!). She rushed me to the hospital, I talked to the shrink on call, he said she is in bad shape and may kill herself and/or you, too, and her solution was to bring me home, show me where the gun was and let me do what I want. It was loaded, she assured me.
She may have wanted to die as much as I did, who knows. My dad had just died.
Oh, and no more shrink appointments or counseling. Although, she did force me into church one Sunday morning. Obviously, that was a great success.
So much for childhood.
Shar
P.S. I'm glad you're still around, Dinah.
Posted by Zo on June 21, 2003, at 2:04:10
In reply to Hey! Me, too! » Dinah, posted by shar on June 20, 2003, at 22:42:16
> So much for childhood.
Hey Shar, I got an email for posts to this thread, and glad I checked. . .One of the great lines, ever ever.
Savoring,
Zo
Posted by Dinah on June 21, 2003, at 2:14:09
In reply to Hey! Me, too! » Dinah, posted by shar on June 20, 2003, at 22:42:16
Perhaps it was a parenting technique of the times. In Dr. Spock and everything.
I'm sorry about your mom, Shar. That was worse than my parent (oddly I can't remember which although I can see the knife perfectly, but the face is fuzzy. sounds more like my mom tho) did. At least mine had no reason to believe I was more than a bag of hot air.
I wonder if that's where our lifelong suicidal ideations started? Parental reinforcement.
I'm glad you're here too, Shar.
Posted by Ron Hill on June 21, 2003, at 14:51:47
In reply to Re: Best Wishes Slinky....???, posted by slinky on June 20, 2003, at 18:32:02
> ..Dinah , you thought you were confused.
Slinky,
I had a brain f*rt, sorry. Sphinx, Slinky; hey they both start with an "S". Please forgive my mistake.
Sorry Slinky and best wishes to a very little sphinx.
-- Ron
Posted by Ron Hill on June 21, 2003, at 15:02:09
In reply to Re: a Citizen's PBC, posted by stjames on June 20, 2003, at 19:45:26
> Sorry, I don't see where I was uncivil, Zo.
James,
Perhaps Zo was referring to where you said:
>> Sorry, you thought wrong.
in the following thread:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030508/msgs/235547.html
FWIW, I had the same thoughts as Zo when I first read your response to OddipusRex.
Posted by slinky on June 21, 2003, at 16:25:55
In reply to Re: Oops. I'm very sorry Slinky. » slinky, posted by Ron Hill on June 21, 2003, at 14:51:47
Posted by Ron Hill on June 21, 2003, at 18:27:29
In reply to Re: It's ok Ron~I forgive you :-) (nm) » Ron Hill, posted by slinky on June 21, 2003, at 16:25:55
Posted by stjames on June 22, 2003, at 16:08:25
In reply to Re: a Citizen's PBC » stjames, posted by zenhussy on June 20, 2003, at 22:15:44
> > > (Like a citizen's arrest.)
> > > (from the *inventor* of "PBC")
> >
> > Sorry, I don't see where I was uncivil, Zo.
> >
> >
>
> st james,
>
> I am on a very unstable pc and won't be able to use it while I'm away on this family business but would you like me to compile a list of where you've been uncivil???
>
> Sheesh! You of all people too.
>
> very sad about the state of affairs around here,I feel that because I have opinions different from others that y'all are calling this uncivil. Sorry
I feel different in some matters than the rest, but I object to having my different opinions called "uncivil".
Given that Bob is the arbiter of civil behavior here, I don't see the point giving me a list.
Posted by stjames on June 22, 2003, at 16:15:20
In reply to Re: a Citizen's PBC » stjames, posted by Zo on June 20, 2003, at 20:13:37
>
>
> That's why I suggested you might want to take some time to think about it.
>
> Or -- sorry, I'm so very seldom here* -- ask others to explain?
>
> Thanks!
>
> *Permanent Objection to current blocking policy.
>
>
Hmmmm, It would of been more effective to just say something like "James, could you leave this one alone, you are driving others crazy? " I think that was the msg you intended but it was lost when you used the word "uncivil". I think I have got what you ment and I will now leave this issue alone.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 23, 2003, at 5:56:01
In reply to I am fed up with little sphinx'es veiled threats, posted by stjames on June 19, 2003, at 11:46:11
> I am fed up with little sphinx'es veiled threats
> of suicide. Almost every post hints "I am going to kill myself"First, hints are different than threats. And IMO, saying you're fed up with someone isn't very supportive of them. But I also think it was more civil, the way you rephrased it later:
> Once is ok, but doing this over and over makes me feel toyed with.
> I feel toyed with when the subject
> is so important and the answers so cryptic.Bob
PS: Sorry I haven't been online more the last few days...
Posted by Zo on June 23, 2003, at 18:40:04
In reply to Re: a Citizen's PBC, posted by stjames on June 22, 2003, at 16:15:20
> Hmmmm, It would of been more effective to just say something like "James, could you leave this one alone, you are driving others crazy? " I think that was the msg you intended but it was lost when you used the word "uncivil".
That wasn't my meaning.
A more civil subject line might be "so many suicidal posts bother me."
Bob recommends "I" statements. If you stick to how you feel - and "fed up" is not a feeling - no one else can feel accused or put down or hurt. Sure, one gets fed up with suicidal posts, it's draining. But it's possible to word things so that you get your feelings / reactions across without seeming to judge or put down or reject others.
If someone posts they could pull out a list, James, what they are giving you is support that this is something you do a lot and you might want to take a look at that - and I think that post was worded pretty tactfully.
I'm not quite sure you're hearing others, or being heard in the way you would wish.
Just offering some support,
Zo
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Administration | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.