Posted by Guy on August 18, 2005, at 11:48:51
Afer 9 years of roller-coaster rides, I am finally feeling stable. I crashed 9 years ago after a couple of weeks on oxazypam. When the original presciption ran out, I stopped sleeping and experienced a major nervous system collapse that lasted for years. I have been on every med in town, including ssri's, ap's, benzo's, anti-convulsants, and maoi's. For the past few months I have been taking 30 mg Remeron plus about 1 mg clonazepam. Everything seems very stable...no tolerance and few side effects. I am running every day and feel almost like my old self. For the first time in many years I am feeling really hopeful. Why then, do I want to get off all meds? I just have this deep yearning to be free, to embrace nature, and say F*** Y** to the pharmaceutical industy. I am 51 years old and just can't picture myself on meds for rest of my life. The downside is that every time I try to withdraw from meds, I start experiencing horrible insomnia, agitation and suicidal thoughts. The worst are the panic attacks when I think I can't sleep...it's become a real phobia. Yes I'm stable, but I also feel trapped, and that is making me unhappy on a very deep level.
poster:Guy
thread:543460
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/wdrawl/20050712/msgs/543460.html