Posted by rjlockhart37 on July 8, 2014, at 0:20:03
it's late, just sittin here on my bed, and have been thinking a long time to write another log.....most definetly am not going to ramble one problem into 50 pages of explantion....simple problem solving skills lol
but.... main thing that is happening is deep feeling of being left in the past, part of me was left in 2005, even some of the things i posted back here on 05, i go to sleep frequently and my dream mind goes back to that time....and it's vary annoying waking up, close the time bearer thats linking to the past. Something back then was not accomplished, it was this desire when i was 18, and it really fell to pieces when stimulant abuse began, one ... i was reported to the doctor and was ripped off them frequently, the error is the doctor's needed to know is the adhd caused me to lose alot of my life track.....and after 05-till now, it went into a drift in the ocean, visiting wierd islands....water going through storms, and now in 14 it's stable but i see no land....land meaning where all the people are and the energy.....establishment
that's what happened, but i am nothing like i was 10 years ago....i change vary frequently....
so..i guess oppurtunities are there, it's about getting motivated to find them and taking a jump into it......you have to want to get out of depression, even thought it will be there, it's causing sickness, and that's why depression destroys lives, it creates greyness, gloom, not intrested and don't care much anymore....when there is potential but it's been suppressed
so .... i don't know start making a daily log here on babble on goals to get done....lol it's the only way to let my life get known, that is a good idea, post what your going to do, and put it online....
but ending this....im a pessimist, i have some insight but let go of the hope, and now it's time to find it, sitting here overwhelmed with still on the starting line while others my age, are having families and careers, my plan is for software, or mainly operating systems, anything with networks, rj database LOL....
if you read this and am in the same case as me, if you let go of your dreams, you can get them back, get the depression off, get it in the mind to get things done, drifting in a innertube is peaceful in the ocean, but when realization that it's not headed in any direction, grab onto the next cruiseship and hold on to it to get direction.....
thanks for reading
r
not a scholar but understand distress.....
"unheard pain, is the told through good company"
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1068052
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140621/msgs/1068052.html