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Re: gratitude today

Posted by alexandra_k on June 16, 2014, at 22:38:18

In reply to Re: gratitude today, posted by Angela2 on June 16, 2014, at 21:34:42

me too! ahahaha.

i guess i was hoping to do medicine or bio-medical science.

but i also like the thought of doing theoretical physicists or engineering or... well... who knows. i never did any science (or math) at high school... so... i thought i'd basically see what i enjoy / turn out to be capable of...

i am very lucky that i get disability... which means that i can study part time... that i don't need to take enough papers to make up a full time work load. that means i can take a course that i'm really not at all well prepared for (like general chemistry) and put a lot of time into learning things like... how to do simple unit conversions, scientific notation, how to read an equation, how to enter an equation into a calculator, how to do basic algebraic manipulation on an equation, how to interpret graphically represented relationships between variables...

it turned out that there is rather a lot of math in chemistry... ideal gas laws and enthalpies of reaction and rates of reaction and equilibrium constants and log scales... i am enjoying it a lot, but i'm also extremely grateful that i don't have 3 other courses to be juggling at the same time...

next semester: animal biology.

it was either that or plant biology and they said they recommended animal for people going on to pre-med / bio-med, so animal biology it is. we do stuff like... the digestive system of ruminants. stuff like that. get a bit of a head start on kinds of tissue...

next semester: conceptual physics (algebra, no calculus, no labs).

next year... pre-med is basically 'OY1' which consists in 'the overlapping 4' (organic chem, cell processes and development, human anatomy / physiology, population health) and... you choose 1 of two options for your other 3 papers (and everybody does a general ed). one pathway is bio-med (biology, bio-chem, physics) and the other pathway is health science (sociology / management crap about our health system). i'd really like to do bio-med (in case you hadn't guessed) - but it means i need to get the hang of enthalpy and co...

basically... i don't know that i can get the grades i need for entry if i do bio-med next year. health science would be an easier pathway for me (cr*pp*ng on about crap seems to be my speciality) but i'm sick of crap. i don't know that i'd last 5 minutes in medical school, anyway... i made a complete mess of my labs this semester... and i have an 'ick' response to people... i can do 'professional' but... we will be expected to play / grope at each other for years before they are expected to have any sort of professionalism about them... i think i could potentially like something like orthopedic surgery or er medicine... but it is years and years and years until you get to there and the skills are taught / expected to emerge up out of... labs. and the way labs are taught... i, uh, don't learn like that.

and, uh, this is probably a huge part of why the health system doens't really work for me. and a whole f*ck*ng bunch of people like me that are out there... and don't even get me started...

cr*pp*ng on about crap.

a simple model... a simple model of a simple machine... a person and their tool. and an equation. i think there is... relief. in something like that. efficiency. perfection. perhaps a high jump. or a throw. or a lift. years and years and years and years of training and dedication and sacrifice... and... it shows. meh.

 

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