Posted by alexandra_k on August 10, 2013, at 21:17:56
so i don't watch much tv but i've fairly recently discovered how to find tv series and watch them so i've been watching a few...
just made it to the end of season one of 'mad men'. interesting...
financial independence. it got me thinking about that. the whole role of women thing... it actually hasn't changed very much from the way it used to be... an awful lot of problems come when you are dependent. when you know you are. when you need to be whatever the person wants you to be... when what the person needs or wants you to be is yourself... perhaps... when it is too risky to be anything other than a living doll. to be empty. sigh.
'they are better than us because they desire things they cannot see'.
i don't know what to make of that.
i don't like the idea of 'better than'. of course. but aside from that, i mean.
he gave his brother money to go live his life because his life was too full for his brother to be a part of it. i get that. i get that as the best gift you could give of all. freedom to live your life. independence. but then some people can't bear to be free. i don't know what to say about that. support sometimes is good. and you can buy that... sort of. i guess what you end up buying is a whole bunch of numb, really, which isn't exactly what was wanted. i don't know. i don't know what to say.
the best response to being blackmailed. i was blackmailed for a number of years as a kid. by one girl at school. and then when she decided to tell someone else by two of them. when they pulled me in opposing directions i learned to be a spy. a counter-spy. i lived in terror. that they would tell the teacher... that the teacher would tell my mother... that i'd feel so disgusted and ashamed that it would be worse than... my life mostly was. which it couldn't have been, really. but they blackmailed me for a number of years. ages 4-7 ahaha. felt like a lifetime.
then one told the teacher because i didn't do something she wanted me to do. a relief teacher. only in on that day. i was terrified the whole week... but the teacher didn't tell the regular teacher... or the regular teacher didn't give a sh*t. or whatever. i should have called their bluff. or something.
that is why i didn't mind so much when my parents asked me how i'd feel about shifting to a public school.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1048776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130612/msgs/1048776.html