Posted by rjlockhart37 on April 8, 2013, at 18:29:49
i don't know if I've posted this before, maybe I have, its somewhere piled in the archives....but I don't know if I've ever talked about my brother, but I was reading scripture some nights ago....said "forgive thy brother, then I will receive thee", well of course I didn't listen to it, and then I ran across another scripture, I didn't listen to that either, so I read some of the book of Mormon and it said it again! like this was some message that was trying to delivered, ughhh how in the heck can I forgive my good ole brother? after being smashed and insulted constantly an won't invite me to family functions, you know I mean what would you do? I've enough of it, and I choose not to associate with that....too much arguments, and contention, see and then when I talk maybe to someone about it they say your brothers a good guy, he would never do that....appearing to other of doing the right thing. This is the first time, i'ce actually gotten mad at God, saying these scripture over, and then one said if you don't forgive thy neighbor/brother I will not forgive thy sins on the day of judgement....STUPID! what does God enjoy seeing slaves belonging to people? being wipped, cursed at, well it happened tons of times in the old testament but I though jesus Christ changed all that. God, I am so angry at both of them....I am not a bad person, and I choose to remove myself from that, because it just broke me down, like breaking my identity down...I want to grow and be a better person being able to thrive, but think about this....my bro knows I have some issues, and need help, but I choose to believe I don't....and I can handle jobs and life fine....even though I've fallen many times. Do you see what im saying.....what I do when people tell me im little, or mentally handicapped, I choose not to believe it and go with my full force to make sure its not gonna happen. But still right now, im 25 and I've fallen many times trying to reach my goal, I do know at this point that there are somethings that are not working right because a normal person would of already got these things done.
so.....god this makes me mad, im really pissed at God....even though I know his timing is different and he can send messages anytime in our life span. I mean what? does God want more slaves? especially slaves that fall down a lot and then get wipped over and over again till they die....seriously....I know forgiveness is a good thing, but I don't know how im going to do this because eventually I will have to see my bro and will have to reconcile with him.....
well.....that's it, hope at least someone hear on babble will read this....
r
not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 200mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false beliefs
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1041895
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130223/msgs/1041895.html