Found out today my diagnosis has changed from personality disorder nos to paranoid personality disorder.
I guess it wasn't totally unexpected.
Although i feel i'm as much avoidant and schizotypal as paranoid.
Thinking about it the bullying and rejection i received by teenage peers especially, for being socially awkward and having social interaction difficulties, has significantly contributed to my severe social anxiety and paranoia.
Also as an adult both adults and non adults have at times been less than understanding and indeed at times very derogatory about the way i am with respect to being socially awkward.
It's hard to trust and all too easy to suspect the worst when how you are has often been a cue for mockery and ridicule.
Logic might tell you not all people are bastards but painful experience demands a lot of reassurance that they are non threatening non bastards.
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this signature | Show by default | Change to hide (next time)Yet inside there is this perpetual nagging doubt;
the feeling we are possessed by a 'subtle lack of togetherness'