Posted by lagirl on May 4, 2011, at 14:22:18
I am 26 years old. I have never been single. I was engaged when I was younger and then once I broke it off with him I IMMEDIATELY started dating a mutual friend of ours. I remember flirting like crazy for the first guy. I fought with a girl over him (not literally punching or anything) and I won. It felt GREAT. After the first year of bliss I started to feel like he was not what I really wanted. I started craving the attention of other men. Just the attention. I was happy with not sleeping with them, but just wanted them to want me so bad. Eventually that guy proposed, I wanted to say no but I didnt want to hurt him so I said yes. It took him going out of town for me to break it off with him, because I couldnt do it face to face.
Like I said, I then IMMEDIATELY (the next day) started dating a mutual friend. I ended up pregnant and have the most beautiful child because of it. We decided to get married after only 5 months of being together. I felt at that point that I didnt want to, but did anyway because I thought it was the right thing to do. Over the last several years our marriage has been very crappy. He does several things that upset me. I am not perfect either and I know that. About 2 years ago I started craving the attention from men again. Usually I crave it from someone that I already know and am pretty close to. I end up getting the attention and then I am satisfied and dont ever think about them again.
Well here is my most recent issue, the one I need help with. I decided I was done with my husband and was just trying to figure out how to leave. I ended up meeting a man through work. He is perfect, amazing, incredible, everything I have ever wanted in a man. I of course wanted his attention, however, this time I didnt go after it. I just sat back to see what would happen. He was going through a divorce and I was still married so nothing could happen. One night he started texting me and from there it went to calling and from there it went to seeing eachother. He told me he loved me and I really thought he was the one. Then the world came crashing down, when he called to tell me that his wife wanted to work things out and we could no longer talk. He was crying when he told me but he said it was the best thing for his kids. I agreed. I couldnt stop thinking about him though and the great times that we had and the feelings that I felt.
2.5 weeks after that call was made to me, he called again. He had moved back home and realized he made a huge mistake. He realized that something was definitely missing in his relationship at home and wasnt happy. He said that he wanted what the two of us had. We agreed to talk, but no meeting up until we were both divorced. That lasted about 3 days. We saw eachother 3 times and then he called again to say that what we are doing is wrong and we should not talk until we both figure out our lives. I totally agree with him because if I really did finally find a man that I really want to love and not just crave attention from then I want it to be done the right way, but I am still very scared and very hurt. He says he is going to work on leaving his wife and I am going to continue the process with my husband and we are only suppose to call eachother if something major happens...like he filed for divorce again..or my divorce is final. He says he wants to be with me forever and I'm scared. Now that we are not talking I cry all the time. I just want him to call. So my question after all of this is...do you think I am just CRAVING the attention of a man again and thats why I am hurt that we are not talking or am I really hurt because I love this man??? How do I know the difference??? What if we do end up in a relationship again and a year from now I am miserable like I was with the previous two?
poster:lagirl
thread:984547
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110407/msgs/984547.html