Posted by Dinah on April 21, 2011, at 8:53:11
In reply to Racism - How to deal with it?, posted by Deneb on April 18, 2011, at 22:06:58
There is, unfortunately, a lot of that where I live.
With old people, I tend to just ignore it and switch the topic. The grew up in a world where that was accepted, and mores changed on them. I know some who try, but just can't fully take in the change.
With younger people, I tend to make it clear that it isn't welcome, without being terribly confrontational. To blankly stare before turning aside. Or, if it's someone I'm not likely to see often, to give just as blank a stare and say "My husband is ...." or "My brother in law is ...."
Or even "I haven't found that to be true...." At least I generally don't have to hear it as often. Although then I sometimes get a "Oh, I forgot that you are a fan of...." At which point a smile and appreciative "Thank you." generally is effective to stop further confidences.My favorite quote on the topic comes from Star Trek.
"The Vulcan Academy Murders" by Jean Lorrah
"'I do not understand,' Sarek said in that totally flat tone that McCoy had come to understand was a diplomatic way of saying 'I am refusing to understand so that you will not be embarrassed when you realize you have said something gauche.'"
Not that it helps any but to generally spare myself their thoughts. It's not like I'm going to change their minds.
poster:Dinah
thread:983220
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20110407/msgs/983412.html