Posted by violette on August 2, 2010, at 15:19:28
In reply to Re: Why Is Babble Not Babbling? » violette, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2010, at 14:45:40
> And perhaps if given the chance-this is something he could have worked on through talking with others here.
By the way, I think Dr. Bob will agree with you on this one. That's what I think he would have liked to have seen happen in response to his request. Although I think it's a lot more difficult to do after one of Dr. Bob's requests because of how they're worded. - Dinah
Well-no one told Ron they were hurt by his kiddie pool analogy; and I don't see how they were directed to anyone here-it seems like an expression of his feelings, which I view as positive that he came here to talk about it. Tensions or not.
I am personally against the whole movement towards behavioralism and CBT, and Dr. Bob appears to be a behavioralist in my view, which originated from studying the behavior of animals. We are not animals.
But as I think you could yourself imagine-being the empathetic person you are--It can be very damaging to be the child of a highly-narcissistic parent who only views you of an extension of themselves. This mode reinforces that-if only you thought THAT way, if only you CHANGED your way of looking at things, if ONLY you were like your brother Jonny, than I (the parent) would be happy...if only you weren't yourself and like somebody else...
My therapy involves accepting that my emotions are a normal reaction to how my parents treated me as a child. That is healing, and that promotes changes in my outlook on life as opposed to someone telling me I *should* do this, I *should* be like that. If only I *should* have *could* have *would* have done xyz, than I would feel great and would not have mental illness...that I am somehow flawed in my way of experiencing the world..rather than someone who has inner pain to work through.
The whole movement of emotions being the result of thoughts rather than the other way around is not healthy to our society, imo. And as you probably could picture, being told "if only you were more like Dinah"...might bring up feelings from growing up with a narcissistic parent-which are very damaging to one's mental health. I am offended by such statements-not only for myself, but for everyone here...
Anyway, take care. :)
poster:violette
thread:956448
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100716/msgs/956897.html