Posted by muffled on October 31, 2009, at 14:45:37
In reply to Re: Maybe a list?! What I want in a site...., posted by Kath on October 31, 2009, at 13:46:20
This is just how I feel!!!! :)
I know it can be hard when there is trouble on sites, but we are human and there WILL be trouble!
In a new site it can be part of the registration process. Stating what we are trying to achieve. And it could be stated that we are, as a site, learning what works. But basically, I would be alot more freer for blocking a person for just a few days(?) for example, if they seem to be acting out and not being able to listen. I think it would have to be discretionary choice amongst the people who run the site. I think it could be handled privately with that person and the moderators.
Cuz often, under the meanness/disruptiveness is hurt, and they are being defensive as a self protection measure.
I had seen a very very hurt person, on another site, cause alot of trouble. And OMG the people there were SO amazing in working things thru w/her, despite her anger. I think eventually she did get blocked, but it was w/o fanfare, she just hasn't been posting, so self block or blocked by admin, I don't know.
So, one of the things I really liked about babble, and I saw this over and over again, was that 'lurkers' would read for awhile, cuz they were nervous, but then, seeing how kind babblers were, they eventually joined in. Thats how I came to join!!!
And yes, you will get disruptive ones, but what some babblers were SO good at was Unconditional Acceptance. Agape love. THAT's where we could reach out and help others who were hurting and had been excluded so much in their lives.
SO often, the ones that cause trouble are just hurting, testing, wanting so bad to be accepted, to be heard.
Ultimately, the admin people of the site would have the option of banning a person if they were doing too much damage. But this even could be done with care. Take the time to explain WHY. And that if they can get a better stability, then we would love to see them back. Just have to explain why, not that they are 'Bad', but that they are hurting others too much at this time.
So, not being a site connected w/google, will proly go alot towards keeping it more private. Plus, if archives are occassionally deleted, there is safety in that. And as someone said, the real searchers who find it, well, we want them to join.
I think sites generally naturally have an ebb and flow of people posting, as posters lives change etc.
So new people is good, just not so many that it becomes unmanagable....
Like a cosy fireside chat, not a gymnasium full of people we don't know...
My thots
M
poster:muffled
thread:923408
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090930/msgs/923678.html