Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on February 1, 2009, at 23:25:18
(duh!!...really?..lol) Well, I did have a few 'okay-good' days, free of that dark, foreboding anxious, guttural anger. I've been feeling really 'connected' to the people I love, around me. I hope and pray that continues. Now, for a more clinical observation, it seems when I go on SNRI's, I really am sometimes full of angry pain, and I say nasty things to people I love and care about the most. (I always apologize...but..you know!) But the SSRI's seem better in that effect, and I may have my 'moments', but some of the good things I have missed for many years are starting to come back. See, when I love somebody, I LOVE somebody, and I am as loyal as the most faithful dog x a zillion.(I know...a dog??..hah..lol) The world seems better; like, my peaceful beliefs are front and centre, and I rarely raise my voice even a tad. I hesitate to mention the drug I added...it's an SSRI...it wouldn't make no difference to anyone else, likely, but I just don't want to jinx myself;-) But I know this is real...this is me...because in the wayyyyyy past, when I did feel a bit better, this was kinda like what it felt. Oh, ya, and knock on wood...the sexual probs I was talking about all the time...still not that 17 year old again, but it's not just a banana in my pocket..I am happy to see you..lol.
I ALMOST started writing some new music today, but I just still didn't quite have it in me. Oh..and one funny cute little story. I think I mentioned I have a cute little dog..a Bichon, pure white, with hair cropped short.(Unlike those big 'doll' like dogs with big hair..heh.) She was in a picture I posted this past summer of a little family reunion we had. Anyhow, when I am in my downstairs apartment working on the computer, she sits at the top of the stairs and cries...yep...until I bring her down. I have to seat her in a comfy little chair by me, and she lays there and just wants to be in my presence, and will fall asleep. Then she loves to come in bed with me (now if I could only get some REAL chicks to do that too..;-) and she curls up against my feet on the comforter. Maybe I am a pretty lucky guy. Well..pill time...lol.Jay p.s. Oh ya, it sounds like I've got a loud rock concert going in my ears, 24/7. Geezz..and I don't even have to pay for this!..lol
poster:Jay_Bravest_Face
thread:877589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090116/msgs/877589.html