Posted by Kath on January 17, 2009, at 22:10:45
In reply to Re: How did it go? » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2009, at 19:48:26
Thanks to you all for your support & caring. It means a lot to me.
I was okay! I was really glad that a female friend phoned him & since there was room in our car (because his other friends 'bailed') she was with us & we sat together. I put keys etc into my camera bag & just had it over my shoulder when I was dancing. Coat was left on chair & as there was hardly anyone there, it didn't really matter!
When we arrived, the 2 fellows who are the 'organizers' of the Friday nite club event were there, along with my son & the friend. That was IT for the longest time! VERY upsetting for my son. The 2 fellows were spinning also & as with the other time that I went, when 1 of them was spinning, the others were very 'into' it & right there, I guess you could say 'grooving' to the music. I guess we don't say that any more, but to me that's what it was....enjoying it; appreciating the skills, etc.
Of a couple of people drifting in & out, one fellow, stayed & after my son's 'set' asked if he'd teach him to 'spin'.
My son did an AMAZING job. It's the best I've ever heard him spin. He was using different effects with the machine - I guess it's called a 'mixer' with all buttons all over the place. I was really proud of his ability & pleased for him.
I filmed 15 minutes of him spinning & he wants to put it on his Facebook page.Before we left, son had phoned various friends, who'd said they'd be going. One by one, they said they weren't going to go. He was pretty downcast. It's like it was his 'debut' spinning Drum & Bass at a Toronto club & it was a pretty big deal for him. I imagine the sense of betrayal or abandonment must have been pretty awful. Especially because my son is a pretty good friend to people. He's 'been there' for his friends & values being a good friend as an important thing in life.
Before we left home, the friend who was supposed to drive a carload of son's "good friends", phoned to say that he, his GF & 3 others would arrive around 10. Once we got there, he phoned & said that 3 had 'bailed' & just he & his GF would be down. The did arrive & he was VERY upset that the others hadn't come to support my son with their presence. I learned later that my son had offered to cover the entrance fee (of only $6) for all of his friends. So afterwards, his comment was that he couldn't even PAY his friends to come out & hear him spin. OUCH. Pretty painful lesson to learn abaout people, added to even though he doesn't have much money, he bought all his friends Christmas gifts. (I think he got about 3 given to him.)
Anyway, he did a superb job & later 2 more friends arrived. The people who were there told him how much they enjoyed it & were impressed. Also, someone told him that one of the organizers was saying how VERY good he was - so that was nice for him to hear. We ended up driving the 2 guys home (it was right enroute), so that was a good thing. They are passionate about their music, as is my son. Then today, the one of them was in touch with my son, who went down to his house to spin. So THAT's good.But last nite son was very very depressed & hurt & disappointed & I guess bitter.
I did fairly well at observing all that & knowing "this if OK. This is just part of life & it is OK". And I just FELT whatever I was feeling - up to & including during today. I've been noticing that if I try to actually just FEEL what I am feeling, rather than fight it or getting panicked by it, it isn't as intense & it sort of dissipates! I guess it's what mindfulness is about.
I have been worrying somewhat that he'll 'use' due to being so upset. But even in that, I'm doing pretty well in not getting too focused on that.
Thanks again for your support.
hugs, Kath
PS - I guess I do have an ongoing sense of sadness about most of his friends turning out to NOT be as supportive as truly good friends would be.
poster:Kath
thread:874381
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090116/msgs/874622.html