Posted by Deputy 10derHeart on November 6, 2008, at 1:15:58
In reply to Re: On my soapbox grrrrrrrrrrrrr rant, ))Lurpsie, posted by happyflower on November 5, 2008, at 13:44:14
> It isn't asking for scholarly advice on how to handle clients, it is just meant to be heard, and supported emotionally.
> So maybe just being a friend who listens would be a better approach to someone who is not a client or patient who is venting.
>you see my venting as some personal deficit of understanding people
>geeze, everything doesn't' always need to be intellectualized.Please be civil by not posting anything that could lead another poster to feel accused or put down. Happyflower, I believe you were trying to explain how you "heard" llurpsie's various thoughts about the situation, but perhaps you misunderstood? When I read this thread, I see llurpsie "thinking out loud" how *she* thinks and feels about scenarios similar to the one in your original post, not advising you how to think, feel, or how you ought to act in the future.
I'm afraid the above statements - the way they were phrased - could be read as insensitive by implying her responses were unsupportive, that she wasn't listening as a friend, that she accused you of having a "personal deficit..." and that "intellectualizing" was something negative directed toward you.
"I" statements that focus on *your* feelings on reading a post, maybe along with questions to the poster to clarify what they meant, usually help to avoid posting something uncivil. If you're in any doubt, it might be good to ask a civility buddy to preview your post. I've done that myself several times.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil. Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
-- 10derHeart, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
poster:Deputy 10derHeart
thread:860626
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20081031/msgs/861064.html