Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 2, 2008, at 19:36:53
Hi everyone,
This is llurpsie's reticular activation system
She just completed a theta-wave brain stimulation CD in an effort to disguise herself as a great thinker. Now she is feeling kind of intoxicated.See, I have just started a new job, and now I am working 7 days a week, full time. MONEY!!! now, money is overrated, but so is freetime, at least the kind of freetime that stems from underemployment.
So I got a phone call from a babbler today (((((babbler))))) asking me whether I'm okay. Don't worry, never fear dear babblers. I am here, I am reading sporadically and trying desperately to remember the proper steps for filling out and submitting a time card, and figuring out how to be a consultant/contractor for the first time in my life. That means I kind of own my own business. whoa.
Therapy wise, I had a terrifying dream that my therapist was piloting a very fast speedboat at 50mph around the lake, and heading for shore with a boyish twinkle in his eye. Very distressed llurpsie begged and screamed at him to stop. Then we hit the shore and I woke up in a panic. I related this to my T (the first time I've ever told him about a dream I had of him) and he said that it's probably from a perception that life is moving too fast and that I'm not in control.
Self-esteem wise, I've been doing a lot of positive visualizations and writing down first-person present tense affirmations every morning with my coffee. It seems to be helping, because my affirmations are coming true.
I listened to an audio book on 21 time management strategies by Brian Tracy, and I'm trying to build some of them into my life. Towards this goal I have been writing out goals, and deadlines, and to-do lists and priorities, and trying my darnedest not to procrastinate. I also bought a pack of 30 of the world's largest post-it notes. They are 24 by 36 inches, and stick on the wall in my office and I can scribble all my notes everywhere my heart fancies.
I mention all of this because I am having a hard time fitting babble into the mix. I just don't have as much freetime as I used to. for better or worse. I still love babble though.
moodwise, I am having flashes and dreams of nervous breakdown, as this job reminds me of another job I had when I had a total crisis and became suicidal and self-loathing. I'm trying to tell myself that this is a completely different situation, but the truth is that I can only innoculate myself so much with self-help and therapy buffers.
See my pdoc next week. should be delightful. I can hardly wait.
I had to buy a calendar planner.
crazy huh?
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:837723
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/837723.html