Posted by Fivefires on March 2, 2008, at 14:32:10
In reply to Re: I want to die *trigger* » Fivefires, posted by ClearSkies on February 21, 2008, at 20:35:20
Hi.
Though my belief still same, I've clearly some sort of chemical imbalance or hormonal change going on.
I can't get utube you guys, or watch videos, on my dial-up.
Called all centers permit smoking this a.m. (Have called about 5x in last couple weeks.) and still no beds. I said 'well maybe I should call the *ovenor' and the woman said 'You should do that. There isn't enug' money for care'.
So, the ER would be a dead-end for me. I've been through this more than a few times. I don't speak or look mentally ill; don't mean to sound snobbish, but just trying relay the pic' a bit. Thinking about doing something bad to myself if not enough to get me anywhere. I could say had plan but I already know 'no beds'.
Wish my mother would come see me, but she is here enjoying her new life she took on after dad and is ignorant of my illness. When Dad passed away, I guess she did too. Sibs don't want me to contact her and they are her bodyguards, awa a new sig-other living w/ her. He yelled @ me. I have no idea why. He said 'I'm not gonna' play your game. I had been welcoming and kind to him. She must have told him some bad things about me. She said 'what 5f wants, 5f gets' to me. It was about my move. She was unhappy I was going to be happy.
I can't afford anything but dial-up so maybe will hear from K re: EFT on a video or something. Not much of a reader. I've been trying to do things to hold my attn and it's not working.
I'm pitiful. I'm angry w/ what I believe in; not to worry; never hurt another living being; crawling creatures maybe, but not a person.
This has been unrelenting. I'm sure you're all thinking as I'm feeling; 'I'm sick of this'.
I should fax the gov a note 2moro.
Any1 heard any pres candidates speak about mental health care?
I got up and opened my door, like I've done all my life, still expecting someone to come through it some time this day. They don't. So, when I go to close it at night, feel a fool.
I had a nightmare. I and some other women won a gown, a gentleman, and a night on the town. It seemed to go on and on as these men walked in w/ gowns and kept going right past me to other women. I even asked one if he'd like me to wear it and he looked 'down' at me, through me, like I was invisible, and walked away to someone else.
Anyone interpret dreams?
5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:813926
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080215/msgs/815740.html