Posted by your#1fan on February 28, 2008, at 23:20:59
I have to say, i have been banged against the wall because of my stupidity, or just mainly because i didnt see something coming.
What has happened, if you have read all the crisis my doctor put me through! god! i tell you, i need to use the distress and turn it into inner power. I want power (control of my life)(not greed, give me more more more, no), and i want it over my life.
I can make it happen but how? i've been through so much you folks, with social messups, to breakdowns, to realization that im not in control of my life. I so many diffrent ways i see life, it just, i dont know how to view it. When i was a kid, my dad and my brother took me out and we had fun. I still want to do this today, but im a adult, but really inside, im a child that is covered up by adult persona's. I just want to free.....just fly away. But i have to sit here and deal with something called "life". Its no more the "victem", bad things always seem to happen to me. Maybe its just the way i see life? huh? all the bad things and not good things....but ill tell you there isnt many good things. Thats why im on the amount of antidepressant, antianxiety medication. I feel im a failure, but i hide it.
Why cant i just act like a normal person that has a life? go to social's and get freinds, not getting on people's nerves and they want them to get away from them. I hate that part of my life. I cover it up with a smile, happy, when inside im dying.
The amount of stuff that has happened, i want to turn it around and become powerful, in response to my bad childhood and bad teenage years. That hurt bad.
Where all friends here right?
your#1fan
poster:your#1fan
thread:815295
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080215/msgs/815295.html