Posted by Fivefires on November 19, 2007, at 13:49:32
I have a lot of love in me, for people who have been w/ me in my life, and they loved my love. (Past tense) Somehow I've gotten to this point where all of these people have found another love and abandoned mine. I've tried to rekindle our love, but they don't seem to need it anymore.
So, what do I do w/ all this love bottled up inside me? I sometimes wish it would burst out and be gone and I could honestly say I DON'T DAMN! I've tried, and as good as I am at acting, this is one I can't pull off.
Is this much love bad? I still attempt to make it clear to those I love that I miss our love. I mostly speak of my family, friends, sig-others, people I've spent years and years living with.
I deliberately didn't post this on religion or grief because those aren't the answers I don't see. Believe me, I see the first one. I did lose a great love recently and it was compared by my mother to another loss and she said it wasn't a deep grief. I'm wise enough to know another cannot judge the depth of another's grief, so I didn't reply. Had I, I'd receive an onslaught of hate mail from all siblings.
So, here on social, plain and simple, straight forward, how does a person full of LOVE TO GIVE keep going when no one wants it or those that once did, stopped?
If you tell me to love myself, beep, wrong answer. I practice loving myself to the fullest extent able w/ the tools I have to do so.
I can't fill this hole w/ 'volunteer to love those less fortunate' until I understand how to live w/o loving and receiving love w/ those I've spent decades with; fam/friends/sig-others. I need to make peace with this first!
So I guess there are two questions here.
1) How do we stop loving those we've loved for so long whom no longer want our love?
2) How do we release all this bottled up love, which is supposedly altered by experiences of its being unreturned, therefore, love w/o complete trust, ... I guess??? This is where it gets tricky. Ya' see, strangely enough; I don't have a clue why/how the love in me remains as strong and as passionate as it ever was. Maybe those lessons about 'trusting' were taught on the days I skipped school, sts.
tks4nsight, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:795957
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20071026/msgs/795957.html