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Re: Cloudydaze » TexasChic

Posted by cloudydaze on August 20, 2007, at 16:25:05

In reply to Cloudydaze, posted by TexasChic on August 16, 2007, at 22:36:05

I just came back, actually.

I've been struggling. I graduated college in May, and started my first real, professional design job 2 weeks before graduation. I was on top of the world during my last semester.

I quit my job after 2 months. I was having problems related to bipolar. I had too much trouble adjusting. My memory had been deteriorating, I was hardly eating (lost 6 pounds), I was a nervous wreck, and I HATED life. I would have probably eventually been okay, but I was working in place with about 6 other men, and no women, and they were complete jerks. A few of them treated me like scum, I imagine simply because I am a woman. The senior designer (my supervisor) was the worst, and he was trying to get me fired, i think.

So since the middle of June, I've been unemployed and horribly depressed. I was concerned about my memory problems (it has been deteriorating over time - I can't remember important events in my life, forget things five seconds after hearing them, long term & short) so I went to see a neurologist. My dad thought I was having absence seizures. Everything came up normal except that they found a large cyst in my sphenoid(sp?)sinus (behind my left eye). This couldn't have been causing the memory loss, but it has been giving me vertigo, and it's gotten worse. I'm going to see an Ear-nose-throat specialist soon to figure out what can be done. It may require surgery on my head....EEEK.

The neurologist said that my memory issues are probably the cause of my sleep apnea or my bipolar, or maybe both. My apnea is not being helped by my CPAP machine. I don't know what else to do. It's really the only apnea treatment.

Anywho- the neurologist did refer me to a new pdoc. I started Lamictal about a week ago. I may get on Abilify as well. I haven't needed meds in so long.

Now that THAT's out of the way - my daughter is doing beautifully. She started her first day of 2nd grade today, and is really excited about this year!

I am still living at home. I am now out of money, and trying to get stable and WELL enough to find a job. I did interview at a place that I really wanted to work, but they weren't sure they'd hire someone right away. And there aren't many other options for designers around here.

I've been making a little bit of money (very little) doing freelance work, including selling a line of clothing I designed for my Thesis project.

Here's the website:
www.cafepress.com/fresh_cut

I'm proud of my work :)
unfortunately I've only sold 7 t-shirts.

So I've just kinda been sleeping a lot (but not well) and wallowing in my self-pity. I'm pretty good at that. I'm afraid my bf is going to tire of it soon. Hopefully he doesn't abandon me.

Wow that's a long post.

> Have you been around and I've just been totally unobservant? How's your little girl (I do have that right don't I)? Are you in your own place yet? I've thought of you now and then and wondered how you were doing.
>
> -T


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