Posted by Kath on February 14, 2007, at 9:45:39
In reply to Re: Today was freaking HORRID at work, posted by rjlockhart on February 14, 2007, at 0:06:07
Hey Matt -
DITTO to Everything everyone else has said.....
Do NOT - repeat NOT bring up the topic of money & if he asks for money I'd laugh lightly & say "Yo - in your dreams!! Did you really think I was going to give you MONEY to hang out with you!!!??"
If you've given him money in the past - forget that.
If he says "hey you gave me money before dude" say "I wanted to see if you'd REALLY take it. I considered it my donation to humanity for the month" or something like that. or "Hey man, I thought you must really need money to make up that lame thing about me paying you to hang with you. If you still have money problems, sorry, I can't help ya."
I think the second one might be better.Make it about him - not you.
If anything comes up about money in the future, pretend that you really thought he was in a financial jam & didn't want to admit it. Don't worry WHAT you agreed to....try to almost make yourself believe that he NEEDED money just to give yourself the strength to change the pattern of interaction between you two about money.
Matt - he's maybe saying that you're friends. He isn't your friend (I wonder if he is truly ANYbody's friend). Real friends don't treat you like that.
Matt this guy might seem really self-confident etc but he's very self-centered & doesn't care about other people by the sounds of it.
I hear you - your work situation is HARD, but I'd suggest always take a deep breath before you speak & decide - 'do I need to impress these people?' I hope that you'll be able to decide you DON'T.
Please know that you're strong inside. Please let us know how it goes Matt.
love, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:732545
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070209/msgs/732696.html