Posted by Kath on January 22, 2007, at 16:43:54
In reply to Re: Son coming back to Ontario Sunday Jan 28th » Kath, posted by Gee on January 22, 2007, at 15:55:25
Dear Gee
I'm typing through a haze of tears!!!!!!
Thank you so much for writing this. Thank you so very much. I'm going to answer 'through' your post between *******marks*********
> Kath, I can see how hard it is on you being his parent. I just wanted to say, don't give up on helping him.
********* Tears #1 That's sort of what his psychiatrist out at the hospital said when I spoke with him. He sorta said, for the people who care about him - that until any of us our perfect, we have to know how hard it is going to be for him at 22 to completely change his life & that he may end up 'hitting his head against a brick wall' a couple of times before he 'gets it'. Well he's already hit it once when he smoked the roach & got instantly flipped back bigtime into the psychosis. I hope he doesn't have to go through that again. Anyway, thanks for saying that to me. I'm probably going print out your post & put it in my purse to read in moments of overwhelmedness (word or no?)********I've never been at the point where he is or was now, and I hope I never am, but I must not have been easy on my mom, even just a year or two ago.
****How old are you now?*******But, I know if she stopped trying to help, I would feel so much worse. And I know, that as I am growing up, I am seeing more and more of what my mom is doing, as her way of caring, and worrying. And I'm sure that your son is seeing that too, and it is good that he wants to be better.
******actually, when my son was suicidal he was saying that he had been such a bad son. I was in such shock that I can't even remember what I said, but I probably just said something like "HEY, don't even think about that stuff. You weren't a bad son & I'm proud of the person who you are inside." or something......all the stuff that's 'gone down' has been bad enough without him feeling guilty about it, as guilt is a useless emotion in my opinion. Regret maybe, but not guilt.*****Thanks for your posts. It has helped me see my mom in a different way.
********** Tears #2 Thanks Gee. Sometimes I feel that I blab on & on in my posts & people must get sick of them. This is so special for me to hear!!!
You seem like a very sensitive & caring person & even though you & your mom might have been through some difficult times, I bet she's proud of you too!I send you a nice hug (I can hardly wait to hug my son in person on the 28th!!)
luv, Kath****
poster:Kath
thread:724995
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070122/msgs/725316.html