Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 20:26:18
In reply to Does anybody else get through life with fantasy?, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:31:40
I do it too! Maybe it has something to do with the HSP thing you mentioned in the thread above. I'm a HSP too. It drives me crazy because I pick up on even the smallest change in someone's mood. Anyway, back to fantasies. I finally admitted it to my T (I'm not much of a sharer of information even with my T - that's how bad I am with opening up) and she said that I do it because it protects me from getting truly hurt. Like, I can go through a whole relationship in a daydream or fantasy and get to the point where I get hurt, deal with it and actually avoid the actually getting hurt in real life (eeks, that probably doesn't make any sense at all LOL). She said because I grew up with a depressed mother who was emotionally absent and a violent father, it's safer to go through all the stuff in my head than to open myself up and it protects me from getting emotionally involved and getting hurt. Even with the boyfriends I've had, the relationships have been pretty cheap and meaningless, by choice, which suited me just fine. Self-preservation, I guess. Physical intimacy comes easily, but the emotional stuff is pretty damn scary. Even with my closest girl friends, there are many, many things I won't share or talk about. It took me 10 years to tell one of my friends that I was sexually assualted and I never told anyone else, even after it happened. I think it took that long to actually get to the point where I almost believed it was not my fault, that I didn't deserve it or wasn't asking for it. Anyway, off topic there, sorry. Bottom line for me is that I like my daydreams. They are fun and harmless. I know the difference between fantasy and reality.
> Like, you imagine all these senarios where things happen just how you want them to? I couldn't seem to move on from the extreme sadness until I could imagine a sernerio where I totally made cuteboy weep with regret that he didn't have me. I know it can't be good when you use these fantasies to avoid real life, which I guess I do more than I would like. Actually I've been doing it as long as I can remember. It was a way to escape a crappy childhood I suppose. So does anyone else do this?
>
> -T
poster:dreamboat_annie
thread:701408
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061106/msgs/701435.html