Posted by Jay on November 4, 2006, at 13:58:28
It's kinda weird....I live with the fact that everyday, every second, I (and most of us on here) live with anxiety and depression. Often, or sometimes, depends, it goes into "remission", like cancer. It will stay with me until the moment I take my last breath. I hope that will be the end of it!(A kidding, in a Woody Allen sorta way..lol..! Imagine going to wherever..heaven...and having to take your meds with you!!..hahaa.) ) And no, please, that is NOT about a *solution*. I mean your natural end-of-life death.
The thing is, and I am not trying to "romanticize" depression, but all of these so-called "normal" people, who don't take meds and act like they are all the "glass is half full" types, seem shallow, and if you look close enough, you CAN see they are really miserable at times! Whether it be friends, relatives, dates...etc. Often, they are obsessed with living :healthy", like one former person I was dating didn't have a t.v., because she said it was to depressing and boring to watch "anything". One former friend, who was a real "*&%$*, and told me he couldn't hang around me because I was TOO depressed, told me he gets three-four hours of sleep at night, and wakes up feeling like hell. He had a vasectomy because he said the world was too cruel and ugly to bring children into. He said he was "depressed", but "..like 'good normal' people...would 'tough' it out". Ya, whatever! His 'better' days seemed like one of my 'worst' days. So, I bring up him seeking professional help, and he just dismisses it, making generalizations like.."I know so-and-so who is on meds, and they are just in an awful position".
I post to the board both, when I am doing well, and when I am lost in the dark. But unlike many of these people mentioned above, my good days are *good*, and I cherish them and relish them like no-other. Instead, they put up with 'half-*ssed' lives, with some vague notion of what happiness is I've never met people who more appreciated life (and cursed it at times too) then those of us with mental illness, who are at least *trying* in whatever way, to seek help, and grasp for hope.
/rant
Jay
poster:Jay
thread:700325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061018/msgs/700325.html