Posted by rjlockhart on September 17, 2006, at 21:20:02 [reposted on September 21, 2006, at 21:55:13 | original URL]
I cant take this anymore, i feel, i have lost myself, my attitiude, my self being. She has taken so much away from me i cant even have a life, i cant go to my doctor with outher calling the doctor and saying that he is unstable. She will litterly cut me off from school if go on Dexedrine.
Thats old news. I have been think about the trigger to my head.....
I feel duck in the water, i feel im going no where. What about not living anymore?
Well, im smarter than that, but i really came to point of suicide. She doesnt understand, she mocks me, she thinks the reason im upset is bacause i watched a "spooky" movie GOD**** or I had too much sugar in my coke, i am upset because of the danm enviorment im living in. I cant get out. She doesnt, im sorry but she acts "stupid", or plays dumb, she doesnt even know what my real problems are. She will say "your pacing the floor, how much caffine have you had? mr?" DANMMIT i havent had any, im sorry i want to really call her a....idiot. Im walking the floor because i cant stop thinking on how im going to get out.
Im socially isolated, i cant feel i can even respond to posts. She wont let me get on psychobabble, i have to hide it. Im trying to help myself she is trying to hinder me.
I have cried, she has done nothing, your just crying because you feel just a little bad thats it, you know......... if some could get a real reality check its her.
She revolves everything around her schuedeul, if she doesnt get her way, she goes balistic. I have other family i could go to but that is riding the line, i could live with my aunt but, i dont know, i would have to completely stop my job, and start apply for collage again and im already behind!
She babbies me, but then she gets abusive and yells, has no mercy and she is very controlling.
Im 19, i dont know where to go, dont have money, i would lose my medication off her insurance.
I think i need a little advice,
AND do NOT babblemail me, she moniters the email,
email me at dorktionary1@aol.com
Matt
poster:rjlockhart
thread:688028
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060911/msgs/688028.html