Posted by vince M on September 15, 2006, at 12:10:35
im 25, ive had these problems since i was 21 or so. The main thing is, is that I cant keep a job. When i get a job, i worry my self to death about getting enough sleep, so much so, that it keeps me from sleeping. It happens every time, I struggle all night to get some sleep and it doesnt come till about 10 min before my alarm goes off. the first couple days i can stagger out of bed and barley make it on time to work, but by the 2nd week im so exausted since i havent been sleeping i end up sleeping through my alarm and getting fired. When i dont have a job, my motivation level falls to the basement. Ill get up, get the paper, cirle some adds, then just kind of lose touch with myself and not follow up. I get depressed and dont want to do anything. now days i sleep till 10 or 11, its rediculous. and at night ill stay up till 1 or 2 watching tv couse i know if i go lay in bed im just going to toss and turn for the next 3 or 4 hours. with the tv ill be out in 2. I started smoking pot to help me sleep but then that turns in to all i want to do. ill wake up and it will be the first thing i think about, cause it helps me exscape/ignore the cycle of lazyness i seem to be stuck in. I need help and I cant seem to help myself. Ive quit the pot but not much has changed, im just more aware of my state of whatever you call it when you do nothing. I want to change, I have no insurance and little money. i cant afford Rx or dr's. and the state needs me to pass a drug test before they will see me. Its tough. DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL THIS WAY, IT SEEMS LIKE IM THE ONLY ONE AND I CANT REALLY TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BECAUSE I FEEL ASHAMED, LIKE I AM CHOOSING TO NOT SLEEP AND TO BE DEPRESSED. I TELL MY SELF ALL THE TIME THAT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GET UP, AND GO. BUT I JUST CANT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
poster:vince M
thread:686208
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060911/msgs/686208.html