Posted by special_k on April 16, 2006, at 20:45:15
In reply to Re: Being a hermit's underrated, posted by Deneb on April 16, 2006, at 20:18:24
Hey.
How old are you?
A lot of people are leaving off getting married until later in life (Til mid thirties even - and I'm talking about their first marriage too). Depends on what you are looking for I guess... But you don't even know what you want to do with your life and my guess would be that you want / need your freedom to figure that out and meet someone along the way... If you like your independence I don't think you will be looking at having kids anytime soon... But dating... Yeah nice to have a look around and figure out what you want I guess. And friends... Yeah I think that is fairly important too. Sometimes it is in spending time with others that we find ourself. But online friends are friends too.My guess would be that it would be pretty hard to meet someone and try with the social banter when you aren't used to it and when you really don't know what (if anything) you have in common.
I think a study group would be a good idea...
But in my humble opinion you would do well in some kind of club.
I think... Kickboxing. But whatever really.
You would get some exercise (and sounds like you worry about putting on weight etc and the best way to go about that it to eat sensibly and exercise). Because it is about muscle tone rather than being thin as a rake anyways (in my humble opinion). And if it is a fairly social club you have an activity that you can DO together (not much talking in that) and you also get to feel comfortable with people and maybe go to coffee with them or something like that.Mixed blessing... I spend a bit of time with people IRL... But then I find myself coming back here to talk about things I would never talk about IRL...
I dunno.
I get all quiet sometimes too... That's okay. I'm not particularly bubbly unless I'm around people who I'm really very comfortable with.
For next time... Everybody likes to talk about themself. What they do what they like etc and that way you might find something in common.
I'm not sure around the meeting internet people IRL thing... I think it is mostly okay. I just say to meet them in a public place and be sure to suss them out properly (maybe a few meetings) before being alone with them somewhere private / letting them drive you someplace or something like that. A girl around your age should be okay... But older guys... Yeah does pay to be a bit careful (guys your own age too).
Re your mother... My parents were fairly horrified when I said I met a couple people off the internet (Damos was one). I don't see any harm in telling your Mum you are going to meet some friends. I think you know the babblers well enough (how many years now?) to meet them IRL.
(That being said I'd be a bit careful about posting details of your plans incl accomodation on public boards because anyone can view those)
Being in a relationship is a mixed blessing IMO. You have a lot less freedom and a lot more responsibility (typically). THough some people get married and work in different countries even and only see each other a few times a year. Somtimes that works for them, sometimes it doesn't. I'd rather be on my own than comprimise myself too much...
And as for getting old alone... Friends. Friends can be terrific there. Mixed blessing.
I might get old alone (though of course I won't be alone with friends)
I might not get married. Or I might. I don't know. I don't mind really. Sometimes I think I'd really like to be in a relationship... But othertimes I think I"m a whole heap better off by myself. So... Dunno.
poster:special_k
thread:633671
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060413/msgs/633970.html