Posted by Deneb on March 31, 2006, at 23:05:06
In reply to Re: fool of myself (long) » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on March 31, 2006, at 19:24:16
> Encouraging others is a big part of my personal, spiritual philosophy for how to live my daily life, so I *won't* be encouraged not to do it! (I'm not yelling at you....just playing on words...;-)
:-) I'm glad you wrote me this post. You made me feel a lot better. :-)
> I'm not worried or afraid of you.
That's good. I get worried about that sometimes.
> But misplaced shame can be awfully damaging when it takes over and drives our view of ourselves.
>I don't want even a bit of that for you if it's going to be over understandable feelings toward Dr. Bob and over a scarf.
You're right 10der. :-)
I'm over the shame now. Things have brightened up for me again (all because of you guys {{{{Babblers}}}}} ). I love Bob, and it's not a shameful thing because I didn't do anything wrong.
> Consider this: you will be meeting me in Toronto, and I've read probably all of your threads ever since shygirl. I'd like to think we've grown and learned about each other together.
I like to think of that too. I feel like I've really changed here on Babble. It seems like a long time for me. I feel like I'm slowly growing up on Babble.
> Truth be told, you've shared a lot more because you have a fearlessness and candor I can't match. You've put yourself out there and just lived with the consequences. Point is, I can hold all that knowledge in my head about you, and still feel nothing but positive thoughts towards you.
You don't know just how much that mean to me 10der! To know that you know all that bad stuff I did, and still like me. :-)
> I can imagine us meeting and I *know* - I really do - that I will not be thinking ANY of the negative things you are afraid I could be thinking. I think you may find it's the same for other Babblers and for Dr. Bob, too.
I think you're right. I think it'll be a wonderful experience.
> So, in Toronto, if you were to say or do something so extreme I felt a comment or action was needed, well, I'd handle that decision then, as would anyone.
I don't think I would say or do anything extreme, but I'm glad you won't freak out if I did. :-) (Like if I can't sleep and get homesick and have a little breakdown it will be okay right?)
> I don't feel I've painted you into a corner and labelled you based on your history here. Hopefully, it will only help me understand certain things better. You *could* look at it as a relief, what we Babblers know about you.
I'm glad that you know all my secrets and still accept me and like me.
> In my IRL interactions (though I'm getting braver) I'm often guarded and afraid to cross lines about mental health stuff, even though mostly, it would let my friends understand me better, treat me more kindly, etc.
Yeah, there's really no one/where to talk about mental health type stuff besides the pdoc and Babble.
> Sadly, even here after two years, I self-censor possible threads I want to start in my head because I'm afraid they'll sound dumb or weird or boring or blah, blah...Well, you've already done it!
{{{{{10derHeart}}}}}}} I would never think anything you wrote was dumb or weird or boring.
> I'm very comfortable with IRL hugs. So feel free to give me one, Deneb. And if you're not and don't, that is *perfectly* fine, too.
I can't wait to give you a hug in real life. :-) Larry too. :-)
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:627187
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060331/msgs/627348.html