Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 19, 2006, at 1:15:49
In reply to Re: Sorry, I have to disagree » Dinah, posted by crazy teresa on January 18, 2006, at 23:52:57
CT,
I do agree w/ you on a number of points. Idle threats are very problematic. Tough love has its place. Of course the real thing that we don't know here is what the kids are like IRL. Some kids would be crushed and telling their therapist about it ten years later. Some kids would keep doing what they were doing and see if they could break mom before she broke them. Other kids would be PO'ed and do something to get back at mom. And of course some kids would learn their lesson. Discipline strategies have to match w/ the kid. I'm just saying that I had the gut reaction that this was not calm, rational discipline, but rather some sort of revenge.
I do think it is likely that mom has a stressful life and deserves more respect and help. I can imagine why she would be driven to this strategy. I really feel sorry for her. I wish that someone could give her a trip to a spa or something!
But, I am worried that this will further harm her relationship w/ her husband. If my (currently imaginary) husband did something like this to me, I would be livid. "I'm an adult and you are not going to tell me what I can do with my stuff!" Wouldn't you feel that way? Also, if dad is the one playing the role of the "fun" parent, I think that this strategy would push him further into this role. "Look what mom is doing to US." It's us against her.
Thanks for pointing this ebay posting out. It is very interesting food for thought!
Best,
EE
poster:Emily Elizabeth
thread:600232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060115/msgs/600615.html