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Tamar, thanks but I'm terribly inadequate

Posted by Susan47 on November 16, 2005, at 5:54:15

In reply to new job for Susan? » Susan47, posted by Tamar on November 10, 2005, at 4:11:57

as a writer, and I know it. Having been here just over a week and being absolutely speechless on what I've seen and experienced, I see how inept my words are. There is nothing that could have prepared me for this experience. And it goes on, and on, and on, and I sincerely want to be out of it. I'm having nightmares. But it's not about India, it's more about the dissolution of love.
India is a country fighting with itself, I think. Everywhere you see billboards, signs, and ads, that include the word "love", and it's so out of sync with the way these people live their lives. 95% of Indian marriages are still, apparently, arranged by the parents. Men still come from America to marry Indian women they've been bethrothed to since infancy ... and love seems to be not a passionate feeling, but one which grows out of familiarity and trust. So being here I'm realigning my feeling about love .. and really, you know, it's a nightmare.
My ex- is taking Microsoft certification here ... and most of his classmates, all men BTW from other European countries, drink and get drunk and play around with women, no matter how many years they've been with another partner, one man has four children and a wife and is having it off with a Russian girl ...
It doesn't matter. The only thing that seems to matter in this world is sex sex sex, especially to men. And there are a lot of women who are young and atttractive and will take advantage of that. And do. I'm having nightmares here.


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