Posted by chrispy_85 on October 17, 2005, at 18:04:57
In reply to Thanks yall, feeling calmer now., posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2005, at 20:51:44
> For some reason talking about the whole situation about cute boy, both here and by email to my friend who used to live here and knows him, I feel like I'm slowly but surely letting go. Of course, I'm not anywhere completely over it, but I can feel the change coming. Its like, I finally realized I was the one making all the effort, and I'm getting tired of it. So if he is interested, he'll just have to step up to the plate. Otherwise, I think I've done all I can at this point. I wish I wouldn't get so obsessed with guys like this. I know its somehow related to OCD, but I don't know how to stop doing it. Since its usually unrealistic visions of happiness in my head, maybe dating guys in real life would help. Ha, ha. Yeah, if I could manage that I wouldn't be here on a Friday night with a huge empty weekend looming ahead of me. But I guess I'll keep trying.
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> Maybe the guy my friends want to set me up with that I'm going to meet at the party next weekend will be good practice. I saw him across the room when he came to visit work the other day, and I SWEAR he kept looking at me. I thought he was cute, but no sparks to speak of. I realize that could change once I actually speak to him. But if it doesn't, maybe it would be a good way to get out into the scary world of dating (if he likes me that is). I don't mean leading him on or anything, but just taking the opportunity to get to know him better. There will be other single guys at the party as well. Can you tell I'm trying to psyche myself up? This is such uncharted territory for me.
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> I have to intentionally keep making my self believe that its actually possible for someone of the opposite sex to be interested in me. I know it may not sound that way in the things I write, but I'm trying not to let the negativity to seep in. But its still there, under the surface.
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> -THey,
I don't know if this helps, but I think I know how you feel about the whole dating scene. Maybe it'll cheer you up to know that I've got a horribly pathetic dating history! I've always had a complete lack of self confidence, especially when it comes to asking someone out or even talking to them. It's actually quite sad...aside from one girl, every one of my relationships started nearly the exact same way. I'd go to a party or a little gathering or whatever, get completely wasted(that seems to be the only time my confidence kicks in...What a shock huh?), and then end up making out with someone that I've bearly met and then ending up less than a week later in a relationship that is doomed because aside from being drunk that night, we have nothing what-so-ever in common. I don't know how valuable my advice would be but from all of the mistakes I've made, and all of the lessons I've learned the hard way, I'd say the absolutely best thing possible to do is just be yourself. If they don't like you for who you are, then they don't deserve to get to know what a wonderful person I'm sure you are. One thing that I've always strongly believed in is fate. I just believe that when the right person comes along...I'll just know that that's the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. This may very well sound crazy to everybody but me, but I can at least back up my belief in fate with some pretty concrete evidence that I think is way too strong to be written off as a coinsidence...So It was nearly 3 years ago now when this happened. I used to work with this guy...since the fist day I met him, I instantly respected and admired him. He was one of the most kind, friendly, and hillarious people I had ever met. His name was Alex. It just so happened that I went to high school with his younger brother Clayton and we are quite good friends as well. Ok, so Alex used to give me a different card out of a deck almost every time I saw him and I never asked him why. I'd always just say, Thanks man, and put it in my pocket. So then one day, he got fired for standing up to our evil boss which, basically, no one had ever done before. So then a few months passed by and we sort of lost touch until one day in grade 12, my english class was cancelled which almost never happened. And Clayton was in that class with me. So he just asked me if I fealt like going to visit Alex, which I did of course because it had been a while. so we went to see him and chatted for an hour and a bit, and he gave me the joker out of the card deck before Clayton and I had to go back to school. Then the next day I got a call from Clayton telling me the Alex had hung himself just a short while after we visited him. I'll never forget that in my life. I got the joker he gave me tattooed on my arm and I've carried it around ever since the day he gave it to me. That's why I believe in fate so much. I hadn't seen him in months, and then just out of the blue, I go to see him the day he killed himself. I'm not trying to be all inspiring or looking for pity or anything like that, I just thought that I wanted you to know that I truely believe that there is hope for you and you never know what fate has in store. Good luck at the party.
-chris
poster:chrispy_85
thread:564984
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051015/msgs/568243.html