Posted by Deneb on September 27, 2005, at 18:33:49
In reply to I'm getting desperate again... :-( *trigger*, posted by Deneb on September 27, 2005, at 1:04:24
People, I'm really sorry about posting such desperate things last night. I just get really really stupid sometimes. Little things become life or death situations. It's horrible.
I don't think I'm one of those people to be depressed for a long time and then do myself in. I think of one of those people who do something stupid to solve a problem, but it goes too far and I die accidentally. :-(
I really thought about ODing again last night. I was freaked out about my midterms, maybe I will freak out some more.
How do I stop this insanity?!! I seriously could not see any options other than ODing and faking illness again! What the heck is wrong with me! I didn't learn my lesson the first time. I just need to study...that is all. I still have time to study.
I think I messed up my life. What the heck am I going to do once I get my degree? Ahhhh! I'm having a quarter-life crisis!
There's probably nothing wrong with me at all...that is why I keep thinking this pdoc wants to harm me, cuz he can't tell the difference between real psychosis and fake psychosis. What if mine are fake? What if it is fake and this guy gives me powerful anti-psychotics...this means he harms me!
Ahhh! I can't tell the difference anymore! Sometimes I think maybe I'm just faking things, but then sometimes I scare myself and I just don't know anymore! I just don't know! But I do know for a fact that I get really really upset. I don't know what to think anymore...please think for me.
Deneb
poster:Deneb
thread:560096
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050922/msgs/560339.html