Posted by spriggy on September 11, 2005, at 22:00:32
I had never heard of sar but was reading some things about what happened to her that got me curious.
So for the past three days, I've been reading through her old posts..
Wow.. This is so hard to describe, especially to those of you that knew her/loved her/counted her as a friend, but it's so strange to feel like you are getting to know someone who has been dead for many years.
I almost feel as if I'm reading through her personal journal. Then as I read things she wrote about suicide, it was especially hard to read-- knowing the final outcome. I almost felt *guilty* because I knew the "end" of the story.
I had to stop reading because it has honestly left me with such a horrible hopeless feeling. Ya know??
You start thinking, " well if she never could get better, what makes me think I will be?"It's so hard to describe. It's just put me in a very sad place the past few days. A hopeless place..
And maybe becuase my grandmother committed suicide, it gave me a "look" into what horror she might have been living up until she made her decision to end her life as well.
It's just very sad. So tragic.I apologize if this hurts anyone that knew her. That's not my intent. I just find her so intelligent, and although she was depressed she was so "bright."
Thanks for listening.
poster:spriggy
thread:553949
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050909/msgs/553949.html