Posted by alexandra_k on July 31, 2005, at 21:29:31
In reply to Re: I *need* to do well in school » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2005, at 21:01:03
> The fall semester starts in the beginning of Sept. I'm still enrolled, all I have to do is register my classes online, I can do it today or tomorrow.
:-)
Good.
> > You need to phone up your old p-doc. Tell her that you really want to go back and you really want to do this. That you will do whatever it takes to get through and that you need a little help.
> I'm always afraid to phone her office up.(((Deneb)))
I understand that it can be really really hard to ask for help sometimes.>Several times she had to make the appointment for me herself. Now that I think about it, I think she really does care about me, she was totally booked solid during my "crisis" but she squeezed me in every week.
Behaviour is worth more than 1,000 words. Some people say they care with their words but treat you like sh*t. So very much rarer to find someone who consistently behaves in a caring way. Her actions show you that she does care. Really :-)
> I know I will have to leave a message...maybe I should do it today. It will take a long time to get a regular appointment with her, not sure what to do.
She might have an opening... She might be able to make an opening... You might have to wait a little bit... There is only one way to find out though. Is email an option? That might be easier than making a phone call. But yup, you need to contact her. It is about putting things into place to prevent you getting into a bad place when you are studying. So much easier to prevent the bad place than to deal with it once it is upon you. Also to minimise the impact of that so that even when you are freaking out you are doing what you need to do. You are going to need a little help with that. For when you are in a bad place. When you are in a good place you do really great all by yourself :-) Its just when things get hard that you need a hand. And you need a hand to help yourself not get into that bad place.
> My p-doc gives psychotherapy, she's not much of a meds person.Thats terrific :-)
I say that because meds will be of limited assistance. I think therapy is more important. If you have someone who can do both then IMO that is best case :-)>I don't think it was working very well though, we never had enough time to do much of anything. I think I need something more practical than simply "talking about stuff."
Okay. So maybe you need to sort out with her whether she is willing to make a regular committment to work with you. If you can make a regular time. That way you will be able to deal with issues and feelings as they start to arise.
> I never know what to "do" in counselling...it just seems like a bunch of talking.I think its about talking about stuff that is meaningful to you. Stuff that is important to you. But I agree that...
>I need something more practical...in easy to follow steps to solve my problems.
... something more practically focused will probably be of more use to you at this point.
> I did tell her about DBT. I don't think there's anything like that for me. I mentioned Linehan's works and she agreed that it might be good to read her books.okay. has she read the books? maybe she could do some skills training with you???
> My p-doc is pretty good at bringing me back to reality. She explains things to me in ways I understand. She even used Hammy as an example! She told me I should treat myself like I treat Hammy and not be so hard on myself. She also told me that blocks are like going to jail...I understand things the way she explains them. She's a nice p-doc.Yeah she sounds great :-)
It must have been really hard for you when she went on leave :-(
At least... It would have been really hard for me.>Actually, all the p-docs I've seen have been great, they are all nice people, or maybe they pretend to be nice? :-( I feel better after talking with her but I don't know if I make any long term progress...or maybe it's just really really slow progress.
slow... its probably that its slow... i don't see any progress in myself untill i look back to a couple years ago... i can see the progress in years, but not in weeks or months.
> I think I have to continue getting help...I want to get better not worst. Can people with a BPD get better by themselves?i think so...
but i think its probably slower and more painful and incomprehensible than it needs to be with adequate assistance from professionals. and babblers, of course :-)>I just need to be stable long enough to actually be productive. How I wish I could be stable for a whole year! even a few months!
LOL! I wish I could be stable for a few months or a year too! Truth is... I can 'act' satisfactorily stable for a few months at a time. I needed a week off this year (well... three weeks that coincided with a two week break) - and the year isn't finished yet. I still go up and majorly down. It is just that i can continue some semblance of functioning while inside everything is falling apart. life is still hell quite a lot of the time. but i can continue to function mostly... and the bad times aren't as deep or long lasting as they used to be. 4 years ago... i remember just how stoked i was to get through a year of full time classes without an episode. episodes on the inside - but didn't interrupt my functioning. didn't need time off. but i needed a lot of support to do that. you will get there.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:535880
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050726/msgs/536201.html