Posted by alesta on April 27, 2005, at 23:02:33
In reply to Re: i think i'm now realizing.. » alesta, posted by Susan47 on April 27, 2005, at 12:51:53
> Oh Alesta, what you said reminds me of the way I felt with my first husband. The shock of the way he was never hit me fully until after my son was born. You know, I was afraid of that baby for a long time. I'd go into the bedroom where he was asleep, just a little infant, and I'd be afraid he'd be a monster to attack me. Can you imagine? An infant! I was awfully depressed. This might be a symptom also of depression, do you think it could also be that, well, he probably MADE you depressed if he was that bad!
hmm, well that's interesting, sue..i can't imagine being afraid of a baby, but the human mind can do strange things, i should know!:) maybe there was some transference going on there or something, whereby you related the qualities of your husband to your baby. I dunno!
<This might be a symptom also of depression, do you think it could also be that, well, he probably MADE you depressed if he was that bad!
lol, i hear you..i do get very anxious when i'm depressed, so that's definitely a factor, too. but i think my fears are mostly pretty much justified..there's a lot of stuff that went on there that i haven't divulged here. i was scared then, too, not just now..i'm just surprised that i'm *still* scared..but i guess there's some post-trauma happening. i now have a very self-preservative "my way or the highway" (reminds me of "limp biskit") attitude about men right now, lol..this bad stuff is never going to happen to me again..i hope that doesn't sound too bitter..i've been abused my entire life, beginning with both my parents (leading to my brother's well-disguised suicide), and i am done with that saga. sorry to talk your ear off, girl.
amy:)
poster:alesta
thread:490075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050426/msgs/490643.html