Posted by Dinah on January 26, 2005, at 10:02:12
In reply to Re: I like it too. But it's not my IRL name., posted by Susan47 on January 26, 2005, at 7:01:26
I have no particular illusion that changing my name will make me feel better. I gave that illusion up on my wedding day. You know when little girls dream of their wedding day, and they just know that they will feel so wonderful and it will be like nothing they've ever felt before sort of like being a Disney fairy princess? I just felt like me in a very pretty dress. :)
I think it's more a matter of dissonance. My name has a fairly distinct image and it doesn't at all match who I am. Dinah matches who I am. Plus it's dated, and a name with no real historical significance. I like names that are either tried and true like Elizabeth and Catherine, or ones that have family connections, or ones that go back forever. That's not saying that those sort of names are objectively better. It's just a personal sort of preference.
I don't want to rid myself of my family connection through it either. I actually would have liked the name my mother would have named me. And I've kept my maiden name.
There's no deep psychological reason. I just don't like my name, don't think it fits me, and would prefer one I like and that fits me.
(P.S. I don't think it's just me who thinks it doesn't fit me. My husband never ever calls me my name. My therapist only uses my name when he's making appointments or is exasperated with me. I'm pretty sure when people look at me they don't think of Xxxxxx. But that's not my motivation either. Just an interesting aside.)
poster:Dinah
thread:447827
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050123/msgs/448054.html