Posted by Dinah on December 12, 2004, at 16:10:46
In reply to Re: Any ethicists out there? » Dinah, posted by Larry Hoover on December 12, 2004, at 15:38:24
> > If I don't put my trust in hospice, and bring him to the hospital for more aggressive treatment for his liver failure,
I realized I made a typo there. I meant his breathing problems, possibly pneumonia. I have no trouble with no agressive treatment for the actual liver failure. I understand that that is what hospice is for. It's just that there seems to be a difference between aggressively treating what he's dying of, and aggressively treating a complication of being bedridden.
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> And all you have to go on is his wishes...
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> > He *did* reluctantly say that he doesn't want to get CPR or be put on life support.
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> Here's how I see the decision tree. If he is hospitalized, heroic measures will be used, without question. Life will be prolonged until it is not possible to prolong it further. That is, unless he or next of kin sign a DNR.
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> Alternatively, standard care without heroic measures. It seems that this is most in line with his stated wishes.I wish he had been more clear about his stated wishes. Here is the man who has been saying he was going to die and be glad of it since I was a little girl. Yet every time he has a choice to prolong life, or to enjoy it more, he's chosen to prolong it. He gave up smoking and drinking, both of which he said he would never do. He was very very ambivilant about giving me permission to sign the DNR. He finally gave permission, but he certainly wasn't emphatic about it. I know what I would want in the circumstances. But I don't want to let that influence what I choose to do as his representative. :( He chose me to be his representative because he knows I'm scrupulous about following his stated wishes above my own inclinations. But we just never discussed this. Or if we did, he blew it off.
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> He will soon die. The day of his death is not in your hands. I hope you can put your faith in your own judgment. I think you will know, as events unfold, what choices to make.
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> LarThanks Lar. Faith in my own judgment is something I've never really had. I've assiduously avoided responsibility my entire life. I do know he's going to die. And soon. His decline in the last three months has been so swift that you can see changes day to day. But I... I dunno. I just want to do the right thing.
(My therapist says he's noticed more than a touch of grandiosity in my responsibility OCD. And I remember learning in ethics class in college that scrupulosity is considered a sin of pride. But I just can't get past causal relationships.)
poster:Dinah
thread:428310
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041209/msgs/428409.html